Between Love & Trust.

“What is Love Without Trust? A Pure Waste of Time.” – Ifeoluwa Olawole.

Ifeoluwa, my beautiful daughter, I beg to disagree!

Love and Trust are two different circumstances in life. In fact, the former can be mutually exclusive of the latter. In practical terms, there are individuals who love their spouses or partners even though they don’t trust them. Love can exist without Trust. And it is the same Love that sustains Trust because Trust is like a candle light that easily suffocates without oxygen that Love represents. In essence, it is Love that cures every disease that afflicts Trust.

And why is this so? Love is born out of sentiments---flint and highly mobile. Trust, on the other hand, is the product of a painstakingly planted and nurtured circumstance---heavy but sluggish. The irony here is that Trust is fragile while Love is its bedrock.

This therefore explains a critical moment that often arises between two individuals when Trust is abused. In reaction to a mere, minor pressure, it instantly cracks and splits into two. One part of it becomes Realistic Trust while the other part turns into Blind Trust.

Here is an example: Joe and Jane are a loving couple. Joe is a good provider for the family and a great father to the kids. But through certain acts of omission or commission, he habitually subjects the trust reposed in him by his wife, Jane, to physical and verbal abuses. If he is not getting himself into embarrassingly compromised situations with other women, he is messing himself up with inappropriate utterances that are unbecoming of a responsibly married man.

Under the circumstance, Jane is left with two salient options. As she loves her husband in spite of the distrust, it is imperative for the woman to urgently take care of the Trust between them (which has since broken into two parts) by imbibing either a Realistic Trust or maintains a Blind Trust.

Jane can adopt the first option (Realistic Trust) to save her marriage except that Realistic Trust can be very noisy and rowdy because it involves fixing the abused trust issue through arguments, quarrels and counseling. But it yields solution in the long run. In the alternative, the poor woman can resort to the second option (Blind Trust) which is “nice” and comes with the “peace of a graveyard” just so as not to “rock the boat”. But this latter option never solves the problem. Rather, it prolongs the evil day with pretenses that all is well until “disaster” strikes the marriage or relationship.