When Men Refuse to Grow Up.

A COUPLE OF weeks after the wedding, Tunde had unwittingly resumed the reckless lifestyle he was pursuing while a bachelor. Quite undeterred by the adverse effects of his dangerous, rollicking past, the newly-wedded man joined his friends to continue living as “boys” instead of the “men” they had all become.

   Every day, Tunde would always return home at the “eleventh hour” and with a different excuse per day. It was either an impromptu party he had to attend somewhere or simply that he had to go out with the “boys”. And on each occasion, he would return home looking drained, worn out and in a terribly drunken state.

   In spite of these provocative attitude and lifestyle, a very patient Bola would, on each night, welcome the man home without any fuss.

    This simple attitude, Tunde noted, was completely different from those of his friend’s wives. Almost every morning in the office, he would listen as his friends exchanged stories on the bitter quarrels and war of words that their wives waged against them for coming home late the previous night. He wondered why his wife never did any of such things to him.

   He decided to satisfy his curiosity one night.

   On the fateful night, the man had returned home very late as usual.

   As Bola, holding on to a pillow that had been her companion all night, was on her way to the bedroom after chanting the “good night” line, he called her.

   “Bola, can I have a word with you?”

   The young lady stopped in her tracks. Then she turned back to face him with a curious expression.

   “I hope there is no problem.”

   “No…no problem. I just wanted to ask a question.”

   “A question?”

   “Yes. I’m just curious. Why is it that you don’t complain?”

   “Complain…about what?”

   “Come on, Bola…you’ve never complained about my night crawling…why?”

The young lady stared at her husband briefly without uttering a word in response. Then she smiled.

   It was a very cold, cynical smile.

   “Are you sure you want me to express my opinion on that issue?”

   “Why not…go ahead.”

   “Okay…I think the problem with young men like you is that you have refused to grow up.”

   “What…what’s that supposed to mean, Bola?”

   Even as Tunde’s expression turned ugly in reaction to this remark, Bola only shrugged her shoulders with her cold smile.

   “Well…I did ask if you wanted me to express my opinion. And I’m just starting.”

   “Ah…what else do you have to say after that ridiculous statement?”

“I’ll continue anyway. Unlike what obtains in many Nigerian homes, some of you young men have been privileged to acquire great academic education from some of the best universities in the world. But in spite of your fantastic qualifications, you are dense in attitudes. Absolutely empty…”

   A stunned Tunde looked on speechlessly while the young lady continued with her vituperations.

 “Look at you, for instance. Your parents sent you to the prestigious Harvard University in America to obtain a great academic education. But unfortunately and manifestly, you still lack the appropriate psychological stamina to cope with the real challenges of life…”

   “Hey…now wait a minute!” Tunde interrupted, his eyes blazing red. “This is preposterous.”

“Please let me finish before you make your response. I’m forced to make this speech in the first place because you asked for it…”

   “And so damn what?…” he cut in again.

“And so, you’ll have to wait till I’m done, alright?”

   For a very few moment, both husband and wife glared at each other until the woman resumed her speech.

“Now, as I was saying…one of the challenges in life is marriage. You claim to be a married man but every evening, you keep talking about going out with the boys…boys? And I keep asking, when is my husband going to become a man…when is he going to grow up?”

   She paused briefly on realizing that the man was speechless as he stared at her in

utter disbelief.   

   “I can’t belief this…”  Tunde finally managed to note quietly.

    Unimpressed however, the young lady continued with her speech.

 “And you thought I would complain…the same way your friends’ wives complain on daily basis…making fools of themselves? No sir! I married you for better, for worse. So, I just have to wait patiently and dutifully for you to grow up.”

   She was about to leave but then turned around again.

   “And by the way, have a good night, dear.”

   With this conclusion, the obviously tired young lady finally turned to walk slowly towards the bedroom. - Excerpts from The Price of Ignorance by Femi Olawole.