A very important segment of the ceremony involved my being taken around to greet my in-laws (consisting of both the nuclear and extended families). The coordinator of this assignment was an auntie in-law (Mrs. Adenrele).
From one row of people to the other, I had to lay prostrate for everyone. It was a very rigorous exercise, physically. By the time we finished going round the entire gathering of people, I was sweating profusely and panting for breath.
I was about to go sit down when the woman barked an order. “Hey, we aren’t done yet! There are some in-laws downstairs…”
“What?” I stared at her. “Do I have to do the same thing?
“Oh, yes…let’s go!” she ordered. And so, we took the stairs. I was made to go through the whole “push-ups” all over again. As we returned upstairs, the woman stared at my angry face.
Look here…if you don’t cheer up by the time we get back upstairs, I’ll impose a stiff fine on you, do you hear me!”
Back upstairs, the people began to clap their hands for me while singing a song depicting me, the groom, to have climbed a mountain and returned in one piece…something some “lame ducks” could never do.
My auntie in-law turned to me to say, “Did you hear that song? They are praising you, not knowing how you whined like a baby all through the process.”
“Yeah…” I retorted with a smile. “You people are lucky that I’m in good physical shape…you try this with some fat, pot-bellied guy and you’ll need a stretcher to carry him to the nearest hospital.”
“Oh, please!” the woman smiled and shook her head. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
“What?” I asked.
“Young man…” she concluded. “You’re lucky that you went through all that trouble for a wonderful lady…a strong, virtuous woman…and not some used, piece of junk!”
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