When a Woman Turns a Man Into a Player.

Each time I see a woman moan pitifully about being “played” by men, I wonder if she is aware of her "contributive" negligence in the men’s behavior. Most times, men (including the ignorant, drop-outs and the sheer illiterates) are often over-rated as “smart” by a lot of women. And when a man’s smartness is exaggerated, his ultimate negative behavior is usually the fault of a woman’s dumb handling of a relationship right from the beginning. April Walker met Bruce Williams (both are not real names) at a party early this year, she felt the man fitted perfectly into the image of her “dream man”. But in spite of this, the young woman decided to play it cool. Her decision, which was borne out of a desire to avoid emotional vulnerability, was actually a smart move. But she nevertheless made a big mistake. She became a victim of “fill-in the gaps” trick. The error of “filling-in the gaps” is often made by many women when a new man comes into their lives (especially a type of man they care for) and start asking them some peculiar questions. Examples of those questions are:

1. What do you like in a man?


2. What do you expect in a relationship?


3. What makes you tick?

When a woman goes ahead to provide the actual, literal answers to these questions, she unwittingly opens the door into her soul. The man will simply use her answers to create an image of the woman’s expected “dream man”.

How does he do this? For instance, the woman may answer the first question above by saying, “I like a man who is kind, caring and romantic”. Her date will now proceed to fit into that prototype image. He will start by taking her out to dinner almost every day. He will shower her with gifts. And he will make sure to talk nicely to her. Before the end of the week, the woman will let her guard down and may likely end up in bed with him.

Once he gets his fill of her sexually, the man will now abandon his fake persona. The woman, on the other hand, will begin to think that he is “changing”. But the man has always been himself except that he has been “acting” all along to get into her pants.

At this stage, the woman has a choice. She either accepts the real jerk that the man is or get out of the relationship. Sadly, most women will stay in the relationship, thinking they can “change” him. It doesn’t matter that such men are abusing them physically and emotionally.

Unfortunately, when a woman appears stuck in a relationship that is when a bad guy becomes worse. No man is as abusive, in every manner, toward a woman as a man that is no longer interested in the woman.