Strange Ironies of Life.

I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.

Born free, taxed to death.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

To err is human to forgive is not a company policy.

The road to success is always under construction.

In order to get a loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it. 

                 Courtesy: Dilbert.