A few years before his demise, my father and I had a heated argument one day. Exasperated at a point during the argument, I had to remind him that I was a fully-grown adult in my forties. In a sharp reaction, my father stared hard at me for a few seconds. Then, he declared that his parental responsibility to me had no time limit. And irrespective of my age, he would perform it until death took him.
That statement has stuck with me since that day, prompting me to adjust my parental mission statement. And now that my kids are grown, the core of that statement has been a resolve to owe my kids a lifetime of parental responsibility. And so help me God.
9 comments:
Thanks for this great piece! This info is very encouraging for those of us African immigrants who have to raise kids in an environment where kids want “freedom” once they attain the age of 18. I guess we just have to continue to impress on our kids that we owe them the responsibility of steering them in the right directions.
I love the title “Parental responsibility has no expiry date”. If only many of us parents realized this bitter fact, there would not be so many young people in jails across the nation.
We as parents must learn never to give up on our kids. Back then, the tendency was for us as kids to think we knew better than our parents. And it really does not matter whether kids are in America, Africa, England or China, kids will always be kids, thinking they know better than parents.
My mom is old school. She once told me (in anger) what your dad said about being a lifetime parent. You just reminded me of that day…lol.
Thanks Anike for your view. I have been telling my kids that “independence” comes with responsibility. Whoever among my kids chooses the path of doing whatever they like in the name of “freedom” will better not call, text or come back home for anything. Once a kid declares “independence he or she is on their own.
The import of this piece is the habit of some parents to pass the bucks of their failures, as parents, on their poor kids. When a kid falls by the way side, the parents have a lot to answer for, because if they had done a good job in the first place, the kids would not fall. And it is absolutely wrong for anyone to hide behind the American societal norms in regard to kids over the age of 18 getting “independence”. A good parent will instill the right discipline from the moment a child is born. It's usually when the foundation of a kid gets messed up that the problems get compounded as the kids grows.
This is awesome! As a clinical psychologist, I have gained some new perspectives in the art of parenting. Please keep it up!
Parental responsibility has no expiry date; wow!
impulsively, I gave myself a proud thump in the chest for being a great father (pardon my immodesty). I believe I am doing a great job (with my dear wife) in raising our kids. It does not really matter what the environment is; being a good parent will always attract the criticism of a child. But the same child will, at the end of the day, thank a parents that performs a good job of raising them, in spite of the earlier acts of rebellion.
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