Understanding Men.

This morning, I got an e-mail from a young woman and here is an excerpt:

“…there is this question that has been nagging me all my adult life. At the grown age of 26, each relationship I have with a guy has never lasted beyond a few months. Initially, I thought the problem was me. But it has finally dawned on me that I’m not the problem. So, please tell me…what is it that I need to know about men?”

Alright, here is my humble response:

First of all, age does not define a man’s level of emotional maturity. A boy that transforms physically into a grown man may not necessarily mature emotionally. Such a man is described as refusing to grow up. This is why he cannot be expected to maintain a long term relationship or marriage.

Examples of men who are not grown emotionally are those who daily gape at online nude pictures of women. These are the same men that watch porno movies at every opportunity. And these are men in their forties and married. Some of them are church ministers while others are community leaders.

About a decade ago, an older colleague in his late forties wanted me to accompany him to a strip club. I politely told him that I was not interested. When he remarked that I was a prude, I quickly pointed out my reason for declining the offer. The fact of the matter was that by the time I was in my late twenties, I was already done with all types of club-hopping, hard-drinking, and other major “extra-curricula” activities.

This explains my constant irritation each time I see and hear a man in his forties or those within my age-bracket (over fifty) talking childishly about women, clubs and stuff like that. It’s also the main reason why I pity infatuated teenage girls and young women who think the guys in their lives will be available for ever. No sir! The guys are merely using them in the emotional developmental stages that include sexual experimentation.

In few instances where such a man ends up marrying his so-called high school or college "sweet hearts", the marriage will be fraught with abuses and dramas until it eventually ends in separation or divorce.

Women are therefore advised to be patient and wait till the most appropriate time in their lives before starting a relationship. The earlier a woman starts having a relationship, the earlier she gets her heart broken, period!

For the young women who are already being used as specimens by men in their emotional development, this issue is a “fait accompli” (it has happened… it has happened). Such women can only lick their wounds, summon enough courage and run!

When the time is ripe, a man who has already been through the emotional developmental stages and ready to settle down will come running after her. No woman should ever have to run after a man!