What are you Bringing home?

I travelled with a brother and as we drew closer home, he called his wife giving instructions about what he wanted to eat for dinner: the quantity, quality and density. He omitted a recipe and called again adding to the menu.
I asked him what HE would be taking home for his family and he waived off the idea. I pulled into a mall and bought some snacks and fruits to give his children. He attempted to eat from them and I humbly gave him his size of "many stripes".
My father used to trek long distances so he could save one naira (then) to buy twelve wraps of groundnut at wholesale price when he returned home from work. He taught us, in spite of his lowly state then, to always bring something home when we grow up!
What are you bringing home today?
Some people bring aggression home as if it was their spouses or children that pushed their day southward? I once had a friend when we were younger, who used to run for cover with his siblings whenever the dad drove into the compound. For some, it was their mother. The party of freedom and excitement ended on the arrival of the mum.
Homes are not built with the gravels of terror. Your spouse and children prayed for your safe journey, missed your presence, hopeful that your contract would be approved, and all you could return with was ego and crumbs of sliced loaves of frustration which you snacked on. It's not fair!
If you don't have the tangibles to bring home, bring a Smile, a Hug, a hot Kiss, a Hi5, a funny story worth sharing, a thoughtful affection, a love letter!

Things that Cause Regrets at Old Age.



When younger, we make various choices without the future in mind. Sometimes those choices bite us in our mid-life. These are some of the things one might regret when they're older.

1. *Marrying the wrong person*

When you're young, check your motives for marrying. Don't marry to copy your peers, or for social standing or out of pressure. Marry for love and companionship, marry the right person, marry your best friend. 

2. *The opportunities you did not seize*

When you are younger many doors will open, you will get many chances. Many young people let these opportunities go because of fear, laziness, or pride. Yet, when younger and with more energy is the best time to start a venture and a name for yourself.

3. *The bridges you burned*

When we are younger, we care little for relationships. What most think about is getting money and moving up the ladder of success at all cost. Many use and trample on people to progress, they take relationships for granted, messing up bonds, sleeping with people for personal gain. But these bad actions will catch up with you ahead. When you will realize how empty life is without love and friends. When you will have success but no one around you or no one to trust you.

4. *The child you aborted*

You are a young lady, you get pregnant and you are scared. You take the abortion option. But when you are much older, you will look back and wish you kept that baby. When you will be rich and successful, you will wish that child you gave up on would be around to enjoy the fruits of your hard work. Being a single mother doesn't mean you can't make it in life or you can't find a man in future.

5. *The child you rejected*

Young man, you impregnated a woman, she told you she was pregnant with your child. You rejected her and the baby and ran. But years later when you're 50+, you will wish you were responsible. You will wish you manned up and became a father to that child. You will see that child excel and become an adult but will have no claim to that grown child who you rejected from the beginning. 

6. *The marriage you destroyed*

So you get married to your good fiancé. The first few months in marriage were good but shortly after, with your money and charm, you started having affairs. You became unfaithful. Your spouse begged you to stop, your children started hurting and your marriage was collapsing. One day when you are older, it will hit you how foolish you were to destroy the good marriage you had began to build for mere temporary thrills in affairs that did you no good. You will realize the damage you caused to your children and spouse.

7. *The God you disowned*

When you are much older ,you become wise. God becomes more real as you see life in a more meaningful way. But don't wait to get older to start enjoying a relationship with God. Know God when you are young, build your future with God. Don't be a young rebel who runs back to God when age catches up. 

8. *The body you messed up*

You have only one body to live with all your life. The cigarettes, the alcohol you are abusing, the drugs you are taking, the unhealthy food you're consuming; all that will destroy you slowly. When you are 50 and lifestyle diseases catch up with you, you will wish you took care of your body when younger, that you exercised more; but now the damage is done.

9. *The time you wasted*

The time you are wasting when younger in worry, wrong relationships, laziness, being a couch potato, giving excuses and pursuing meaningless things; you will never get it back.

10. *The dreams and talents you shelved*

Are you talented when young; are there things you love to do and you are good at them? Nurture those talents, exploit them, don't give up even if you encounter set backs, don't give up on your dreams. If you give up, when you're older you will look at your peers who stuck to what they love and made it and think to yourself, "That could have been me". Pursue a career, study a course you love. Don't waste years of your life in a field that doesn't fulfill you.

11 *The name you defamed*

When you are older, a legacy is very important, the value of your name is crucial. You will ask yourself what is your reputation, what are you leaving behind? Your legacy is a sum total of your actions since youthful days. We write our biography by how we live life everyday. When you look back your path and you see the mud you threw at your own name, the shame you attracted and the little value you have added to the world; you will regret.

12. *The wealth you threw away*

Are you riding on good money during your productive years? Earning good money? Don't throw away that money in clubs, reckless living and wasteful shopping. Invest with that money, widen your revenue stream, make that money work for you and keep it safe to take care of you in your older years. Leave an inheritance for your loved ones so that you will never say "I wish I knew better"

13. *The good love that got away*

Is there that great person in your life loving you good? Don't push that person away, or else that person will walk out your life and you will never ever find someone that incredible and who connects with you all your life. It will torment you to grow older with thoughts of "What if I was still with that person?"

14 *The parents you despised*

When younger, it is easy to show contempt to your parents; what do your parent's know? They are old-fashioned, shady and small -minded. But your parents are still your parents whether you agree with them or not, whatever their style. Don't let your parent die or age, separated from you. Reconcile and make up. When you get older, you will realize why your parents wanted to be close to you. The older you get, the more you see the value.

It's not Every Problem That Needs a Prayer.

It is a pity to see how some people self-sabotage themselves by seeking spiritual solutions to issues they can easily resolve by mere change in attitudes. When problems arise in a marriage, a career or in a business venture, the root of the problem most often lies in the inability of the affected person to look inward.

For instance, when a woman is having a marital problem, the first thing for her to do is to ask herself if she is ADEQUATELY performing her duties as a wife or mother. After that, she can go further to review her over-all attitude or manner. For example, is her attitude like that of a responsibly-married lady or is she lousy and reckless in her attitude? It is after clearing all these personal aspects that she can resort to prayers.

I once heard the story of a woman whose marriage could be described as almost perfect. Then, she became a deaconess in her church. As chairman of the church’s prayer warriors, the pastor observed that the woman was always submitting a prayer request for peace in her marriage. After one particular church program, the pastor asked her about the issue and she pleaded with the pastor not to let her husband know. According to her though, the man “changed” towards her since she became a deaconess. She complained that “Unlike the perfect gentleman that I married, Tunji has become something else. He is always complaining that I spend too much time in the church...and to make matters worse, he now goes to night clubs and  comes back home very late…” Looking disturbed, the pastor promised to keep praying for the couple. But one Sunday after church service, the pastor casually asked the woman’s husband why he had not been attending week days’ programs in the church. And without mincing words, the man rudely replied saying, “Don’t tell me that my wife that you took is not enough or you want to take me too?” When the pastor expressed shock at this statement, the man went further to say that since the pastor made his wife a deaconess, their marriage had not been the same. He went further to say, “We were a loving couple in a happy home until you made her a deaconess. Since then, all I hear is, ‘pastor this’ or ‘pastor that’. All of a sudden, no more sex…no more cuddling…in fact, we don’t even hug or kiss anymore all because my wife is a deaconess…”

The following Sunday evening, the pastor invited the couple for a dinner. It was there that he bluntly revealed his encounter with the woman’s husband. Staring straight at the woman, the pastor said angrily, “Deaconess, may God forgive you!” As the deaconess was beginning to get jittery over this angry reaction, the pastor stated further, “You’re one of those creating problems in the Christendom with your ignorance. The church made you a deaconess because you deserve it. Your anointing as a deaconess was supposed to manifest into more blessings upon your life…it is not meant to destroy your marriage.” The pastor’s wife joined her husband in educating the deaconess that unwittingly, the deaconess was actually committing sins against God by going against her marital vows. “In fact, you were just punishing yourself with all those constant fasting and prayers when all you needed was just a change in attitude….because being a deaconess or church worker is no excuse for you to abandon your duties as a wife. In fact, if you cannot keep your home intact with love and peace, how can you sincerely counsel any member of the church with matrimonial trouble in your capacity as a deaconess?” the pastor concluded.     

There is also the case of a man that was known to be a jolly good fellow ONLY outside his matrimonial home. Among friends, acquaintances and colleagues, he was a nice guy to be around. But at home, he was a terror to both his wife and their adult kids. If he was not beating his wife, he was yelling at his kids over the most mundane stuff. He was always coming home very late while blaming his family for making his life miserable. And most times, his wife and kids wished he would just stay away from home completely and never come back. Yet, the man was a Christian. He would go to church almost every day for one program or the other. Then, he was diagnosed with chronic depression and shortly after that, he was losing weight. Some members of the church were so worried that they expressed their concern to the pastor. After talking about the issue with the church members, the pastor also met with the man’s wife and children. Initially, the pastor was confused because while the members of the church said great things about the man, his wife and kids were of the contrary opinion. After meditating and praying about it, the pastor had a meeting with the man. And, as far as the pastor was concerned, “We shall keep you in our prayers. But beyond prayers, you too have a role to play. First of all, why are you a happy-go-lucky man outside among people and yet, you're always miserable within members of your family? And to answer this question, you need to henceforth let your charity begin at home.” When the man asked the pastor to explain, the man of God said; “Brother, you need to start doing at home, the same things you do outside that are making people say good things about you…” 

The same principles about attitudes apply to other aspects of life. When a man was having problems at work, he sought the spiritual intervention of his pastor. The man of God began the counselling by asking him to look inward. “I need you to start by asking yourself some questions…” the pastor stated. “Do you go to work regularly? How punctual are you at work on daily basis? Are you performing your duties as expected of you? It's after checking all of these stuffs that you can now resort to prayers.”

If someone is getting a rough deal in a business venture, he/she first have to check themselves. Is he/she being truthful in the deal? Is he/she investing a mere 20 percent of money while expecting a 50-50 share of the profit margin? Is he/she being fair to the partner (s) in the deal? All of these questions need to be answered before praying for the success of the business venture. 

Praying is a good habit to cultivate especially when we have problems. But most times, it’s very important that we first look inward to check if the root of the problem is not deeply-etched in our negative attitude, ego or (and) stubbornness. Many times, we pray and fast in order to bind or cast out “demons” that do not exist...except in our imagination.

Happy 30th Wedding Anniversary.

Titilola, Precisely today, our marital union clocks 30...and so, here is a short stroll down memory lane:

I remember that day in 1983 when we met and how you firmly but politely let me realize that "Only rotten 'apples' are within the easy reach of Man. The good 'fruits' are way up the tree and it takes a man with patience, responsibility and other qualities to get one." You practically set and controlled the pace of the relationship on that strict, principled premise. And it remained that way until finally in 1985 when it blossomed into a courtship.

Today, I also remember our traditional ceremony on the eve of the wedding in 1987. In line with the Yoruba culture, I was made to prostrate before everyone from the 2nd to the 1st floor of your Odogbolu country home. Your auntie (Mrs. Adenrele) consoled me every step of the way by reminding me that I was getting married to a very precious "gem", worthy of all the "stress" to which I was being subjected.

And, of course, there was the glorious wedding on the 1st of August, 1987. The town of Odogbolu was agog. I remember how we looked on in amusement as every available space on our wedding certificate was covered with the assorted signatures of family members, relations and some distinguished guests such as the six royal fathers in attendance.

After all the wedding glitz and fan-fare, we told each other that the real work (marriage) had just started. And we made it clear that it would be "Fun while we worked". With this mindset therefore, we set to work with excitement.

Like a ship though, no marriage can keep sailing for 30 years without coming across some storms. Twice, both of us (together) would have died in what could have been ghastly motor accidents. The 1st was on the Lagos 3rd Mainland Bridge, shortly after our wedding. The 2nd was in 1990 along the Sagamu to Ibadan Highway. Also, on three occasions, you would have become a widow (1989, 1992 and 1993) but for the grace of God. In these and every other dicey situation in the past 30 years, you've proved that the oath, "For better or for worse..." is not a mere cliche for you.

Therefore, while to God alone be the glory, I must also acknowledge your great virtues, extra-ordinary calmness/patience in the face of travails and, above all, your unconditional love for me. And that's why I'll forever cherish, adore and celebrate you as a most wonderful wife, mother and the only mortal with whom I've got no secrets.

Titilola, iyawo mi atata, je t'aime...and you know.

Happy 30th wedding anniversary to us!!!

Seven Things Women Want.

1. A Man with Integrity: Be manly in all that you do. Say what you mean and mean what you say. And by this I do not mean be arrogant or cocky. A man of integrity strikes me as someone who is confident. And well if you’re kind into the bargain well that’s just even more sexy. The definition of integrity itself is “the adherence to moral and ethical principles; the state of being whole and solid.” Lies are never hot. Nor is the omission of the truth via silence. Acting with integrity is pretty simple: Be a good man. And we’ll love you for it. If you can use this goodness to make the world a better place, then we want you all the more. 

2. A Man Who's Present: By this I also mean have some self-awareness; be mindful, strive to make a deeper connection with us. It’s my experience that women who act unnecessarily clingy only do so when they are lacking in attention. That means perhaps you’re not being present with us and we sense it. We are confident women. We don’t need you, we want you because we love you and choose you. But if you’re not present, it causes problems. When you’re in the moment with us everything else fades away. Oh and note to self. A man with presence strikes me as a man who is confident, also. 

3. A Man Who's Complimentary & Considerate: Yes, we confident women have our own self-esteem but we like to hear you say nice, honest things since you’re our man. Tell us what you love about us, specifically. We believe it about ourselves but when someone we love says it, wow, that’s hot. As for considerate, to me that might equal making an effort and trying to be a good listener. We don’t want to be priority all the time but we do want to be referred to sometimes and considered. And did I mention a man who is considerate and sincerely complimentary strikes me as a very confident man? (Did someone turn the heat up in here?) 

4. A Man Who Takes Initiative: [Temperature still rising in here.] You know honestly, we know we can do this (and we can live alone as Amazon warrior women with one breast intact) yet sometimes don’t want to control it all. Initiative is a serious turn-on in a man. Often, the devil is in the details. We don’t care what you take initiative in, whether it be declaring that you will make the dinner reservations, you will take out the garbage, you will pick the concert, just every once in a while we just want to know you’ve got it covered. Grrr. That’s hot. 

5. A Man Who's Passionate: It’s rare to find. Be passionate in something that you do since passion spells everything. We don’t care if it’s politics, football, music, cooking, dogs, billiards or stamp collecting for that matter. That’s irrelevant. When we see you with a commitment, devotion, excitement expressed about something with no restraint then we add two plus two together. If you’re passionate in one area, we know you’ll be passionate in the bedroom. It’s not what society says you should love. It’s not what your friends or family say you should care about. It’s what you, at the deepest and most honest part of yourself, love. We hear it in your voice, the self-assurance, how articulately you speak about this topic and it drives us crazy, in a good way. 

6. A Man Who Expresses Humor & Positivity: We love humor, even if it’s just being able to be witty in response every once in a while. We don’t want a clown all the time, but every so often someone who can laugh is a big deal. I once dated a man and no matter how angry or upset I was I couldn’t stay angry with him for long since he had a great sense of humor. I also dated a man who was serious all the time. Guess which one I preferred? It takes a confident person to be able to use humor in the right way. OH and not forgetting optimism too, that’s always good. Together they are dynamic. Dealing with pessimism all the time becomes exhausting. 

7. A Man Who Knows Himself & Is Himself: Or at least strive to. Now, that, gentlemen is sexy. You don’t have to know everything about yourself (you can still be searching in some areas) but some self-awareness is hot. If you don’t know yourself, it will be hard for us to figure out the real you. Real men I think know what they believe and what they value in advance. Someone with a kind of inner calm, self-awareness and forward momentum is almost universally considered sexy and attractive to others. You also are in touch with your feelings and you’re not afraid to spend time learning, growing and developing. We don’t care if you’re not exactly where you want to be but we love to see you make this effort. And, note to self, people who know themselves often express vulnerability. And there is absolutely nothing sexier than a vulnerable man.

Courtesy: The Cheat List.

If You Don't Do These 5 Things, Your Marriage Will Not Work, Period.

In our continuing search for great marriages around the world, we journeyed to the beautiful country of New Zealand. Our interviews with happily married couples took us to the cities of Auckland, Wellington, Queenstown, Milford Sound, Wanaka, Arrowtown and Glenorchy. We flew in a twin-engine plane over Milford Sound, rode a boat on gorgeous glacier lakes, drove a Jeep down country roads in search of great marriages throughout New Zealand. 

This research excursion of ours covered nearly 18,000 miles by the time we arrived home. Does jet-lag come to mind? While we interviewed a number of long-time couples in New Zealand (both married and unmarried), there are two that stand out the most. Allow us to share the marriage advice we learned from two sets of lovebirds (both married for over 60 years) — Hank and Hanny, and Harold and Dorothy. 

In interviewing these two couples, we found that their advice for a successful marriage echoed each other! We never cease to be amazed at just how universal marriage advice is, whether from couples in New Zealand or the United States. There is almost a mystical consistency to the messages we hear. 

So, here in a nutshell are the five ingredients of a successful marriage, as shared with us by Hank and Hanny, Harold and Dorothy, and all those other couples we interviewed: 

1. Trust is at the heart of a great marriage: Trust is built over time. In the best marriages, trust grows and is never diminished. There is no cheating, dishonesty or infidelity in great marriages and relationships. And to those who say that you can repair your loving relationship after one partner violates the most basic trust — all we can say is, you risk joining the ranks of those couples who got divorced!

2. A successful marriage is easy to understand ... but difficult to put into practice: Marriage is not for the faint of heart. A successful marriage takes hard work: be kind, show respect, engage in simple acts and loving gestures. In the end, a successful marriage is an accumulation of having done the simple things. Never, ever be lulled into thinking you can take your marriage for granted. Work to make it work everyday of your lives together. 

3. Laugh, don't cry: In marriage, it is always better to laugh a lot than to cry. Nobody ever promised your marriage would be great all the time. All marriages go through trauma and uncertainty. Your relationship is not alone in this. What makes your marriage work is how you react to the tough times — the uncertain times. Sometimes, you just need to laugh a lot! Laughing cleanses the soul. Laughter purifies the relationship between you and your partner. How about more laughter in your lives together? Laughter could make or break your marriage. 

4. Express your love (in small and big gestures): The most successfully married couples tell us this — express love to your mate multiple times during the day in a variety of ways. If you truly love someone you will find many ways to tell them. And there is a corollary — it is not enough to love someone and to express that love. The one you love should also be your best friend. In our travels around the world, we have discovered many simple truths, but most importantly, among these is that the one you love must also be your best friend! 

5. Give and take: In great marriages, you win some and you lose some. Never be obsessed by being right! Frankly, the most important notion you should take from this is that great marriages are characterized by "finding common ground" and "creating common solutions." Share the burden. Don't always feel like you have to find the best solution by yourself. Search for areas of agreement. Great relationships share the decision-making. Being right when you are wrong is not a good solution to any debate. Give a little and take a little. Arrive at the common ground that makes your relationship work.

Creating a successful marriage is not always the easiest thing to do. We took hundreds of tips from the thousands of happy couples we interviewed and put them into our award-winning and bestselling book, Building A Love That Lasts. Today, you can see how you stack up to the best marriages around the world. Take this marriage quiz to assess your chances of achieving a successful marriage of your own. 

Courtesy: YourTango.

Qualities Women Over-Prioritize in Boyfriends.



Many personality traits look good on paper (or in soap opera characters), but in real life, they can be a little too much to deal with every single day for the rest of your life. On top of that, a lot of women prioritize character traits simply because they believe that’s what the rest of the world looks for, or it’s what they are supposed to want. Ultimately, all that should matter is what you want. Then there is the added element of looking for traits that pertain to how a man interacts in every realm of his life, even when he isn’t with you. There is something to be said for a man who is well-liked and respected, but at the end of the day, if you know he is worthy of love and respect, shouldn’t that be all that matters? Here are character traits women way over-prioritize when looking for a boyfriend.

Charisma/Leadership personality: You know who else has charisma? Charles Manson, cult leader, politicians, philanderers…I’m not saying all charismatic men are selfish and manipulative, but I am saying that those traits only help a man out in the workforce—they have nothing to do with his ability to be loyal, loving and kind to you. 

Well-traveled: Don’t be quick to assume that a man who isn’t well-traveled isn’t cultured. Some people didn’t grow up with the means to travel the world, but they may have still taken every opportunity to study other cultures, attend every international museum, show and book reading, and even taken some foreign language courses. 

Social butterfly: After you’ve been together for a while, you’ll stop going everywhere together, and you will crave slightly separate social lives. Then, it really won’t matter if your partner wants to stay home on some nights. 

Other women want him: This is a rather immature requirement—that other women want your guy. If you are a secure and confident person, you shouldn’t need other women to validate your choice in a man.

Building an empire: Men who build empires are impressive, to be certain. They are also always on the clock, never home for dinner, and probably won’t get to know their children very well. Those are just some things to think about. Ambition comes in all forms, and building an empire may be a form that isn’t suitable for a romantic partner. 

Height: Really? You would write off a guy with whom you were compatible on every other level all because you don’t feel comfortable in heels around him? Look around; plenty of couples consist of shorter men and taller women and nobody cares. 

 

Age: If age will interfere with his desire to have children or do other things that are important to you like traveling the world, then that may be a problem. But if the relationship is running smoothly otherwise, who cares if he doesn’t know about the youngest Kardashian. It’s probably better that way.

Current Wealth: Don’t look for the man who has money today; look for the man who has life skills that will always allow him to build wealth. That man can deal with the highs and lows and unpredictability of life.

 

Great sex: Newsflash: there will come a time when you have sex once a week if even that. At that point, what will really matter is if this person can be your best friend, your partner in crime, and teammate for life. Plus, you can just coach him in the sex department.

Common interests: It really shouldn’t matter if you’ve never even heard of his hobbies nor him yours. What should matter is that he is willing to learn about them and accompany you to them. There are millions of men who are also into Spinlates, but that doesn’t mean you should date them.

Having your friends adore him: You’ll learn this eventually; if your friends simply don’t have a problem with him, you’ve hit the jackpot. A lot of women criticize and dislike their friends’ partners. Finding a man over whom your friends will fawn is rare. Settle for a man who your friends get along with just fine. 

Good dresser: Honestly, men who are really good dressers…there’s just something off about them. They are either too full of themselves or so insecure that they cover it up with nice clothes. Let the guy you date be comfortable in who he is—let him wear the quirky t-shirts. 

Healthy lifestyle: So long as your partner maintains a weight his doctor is happy with and sees the value in some vegetables and gym time, be grateful! You shouldn’t write off a wonderful man because he doesn’t have a personal trainer or protein powder. 

Courtesy: Madamenoire.

Jermaine Jackson Divorce: I Want HALF Our Michaels...Says Estranged Wife.

Jermaine Jackson's estranged wife is making a list -- and checking it twice, we're sure -- to make sure she gets half their stuff, and she's especially eyeing two fancy Michael Jackson paintings.



Halima Rashid's divorce docs include a list of assets the couple amassed during 11 years of marriage.

There's little stuff, like an Apple TV receiver and flower pots, and plenty of big ticket items too ... like the MJ portraits, entitled "Abstract" and "Sofa."

She doesn't include the current value of the paintings, but only because she hasn't had them appraised yet. As for vehicles -- she says their Ferrari and Jeep are worth about $133k, and she wants her cut. 

Courtesy: TMZ.

Some Issues You Need To Talk About Before Getting Married.

There are salient issues that need to be discussed by a couple as soon as a marriage proposal is made. These are the ingredients for a solid marital foundation: 

Religion: A serious discussion about religion during courtship will ensure that you two are on the same page and this will eliminate any surprise. For instance, both of you may be Christians but if one is a fanatic while the other is liberal, there will be problem in the near future. If one is a Catholic while the other is a Methodist, you need to choose which one to attend jointly upon marriage. Nothing undermines a marriage as a lack of consensus in what denomination to attend. Even the kids will be confused. Although my wife was an Anglican before marriage, she easily resolved to join me in attending the Baptist denomination upon marriage.  

Credit score and debt: Couples need to share financial information about each other during courtship. Knowing your partner’s salary is one thing, but understanding where his/her money is going is another. In our time, there was nothing like a bad debt issue. As soon as I proposed marriage to my wife, we both resolved to be transparent about our individual incomes. 

In-laws: If you love your future in-laws, great! If you have an issue (even the slightest problem about anyone), voice your concern with your partner. Having an open and honest conversation with your fiancé can provide insight on your future in-laws and help you better understand them and minimize any future complications. 

The kids: It’s very important during courtship for a couple to talk about the number of children they hope to have. It's also essential to discuss how the kids will be raised. During courtship, my wife and I already knew the number of kids we would have. The third child was not "originally" in our plan but we chose to be flexible about such a possibility. We decided that I would name the first child while she would name the second child. When the third child came, we simply put it to vote within the nuclear family. As for discipline, fortunately, we both detested spoilt brats.  

 

Gender roles: You guys may not really have to talk about specific roles before marriage. However, you both have to adapt to doing certain chores as they arise and in regard to each person's job schedules. Also, discuss how often each of you should do certain chores. 

Spending money: During premarital discussions, both of you need to discuss how you'll be spending money. Will you have a joint account? If yes, will you be informing each other before purchasing an item above a certain amount. This is especially important if one of you spends frivolously. 

Handling arguments: Will you argue in front of the kids? At what point will you seek external counseling? It’s a good idea to know who has a hot temper and who is laidback. What are your plans for effective communication and finding a solution to each quarrel as it arises? 

Boundaries: There are instances where a couple and their families or in-laws live close to each other. In such a situation, they need to have a policy in place to avoid interferences. Do the relatives have to call ahead before visiting or can they just pop up? Take it a step further by talking about the possibility of a parent in-law or sibling in-law living with you. In our case, my wife actually volunteered early in our marriage to have my father live with us. It was a very rare thing for a woman to do. And that's one of the reasons why I will forever adore and treasure her in my life.

Career expectations: Are you both alright with each other's career? Does any of you have the potential to relocate your family to a different location due to career needs? Are your future spouse’s career goals in line with your desired family dynamic? What sacrifices are you prepared to make for each other to succeed in your careers? 

Scottie Pippen Filed for Divorce After Concern Over Wife’s Relationship with Future.

Scottie Pippen filed for divorce from wife Larsa during the week, and now some details about what led to his decision have emerged. According to TMZ Sports, the former Chicago Bulls star was concerned about Larsa’s relationship with rapper Future. Larsa and Future apparently met in August and have been traveling and hanging out together ever since. Larsa having a casual relationship with Future also may be revenge for Scottie flirting with another woman last summer, per the report. 

The Pippens had agreed to a divorce weeks ago but backed off, though Scottie apparently changed his mind. 

There have been recent problems in the Pippen home, as police were called twice this month over arguments between the two.

As an interesting twist, Future has a sports tie as well, as his ex, Ciara, is married to Seahawks QB Russell Wilson and even threatened the quarterback. 

Courtesy: TMZ.

Girl finds out she married her rich grandpa, stays with him anyway.

 

Newlyweds have vowed to stay together – despite the bride discovering her new husband is actually her grandfather. 

The couple made the shocking discovery three months after tying the knot while flicking through a photo album when they realized the man’s estranged son was also the bride’s father. 

But the 68-year-old millionaire has said he has no plans to divorce his 24-year-old wife because he already has two failed marriages behind him.

The man, who doesn’t want to be named, proposed his granddaughter on New Year’s Eve after they met through an online dating website.

He had apparently became estranged from the children in his first marriage and had moved away after his second marriage ended in divorce when he scooped “several million dollars” as a lottery prize.

The Miami-based pensioner had signed up to the site looking for companionship and struck up the relationship with the 24-year-old, from Jacksonville, who said she had been kicked out of her family home.

He told Florida Sun Post: “It was like a sense of deja vu, but at the time I couldn’t figure out why she seemed so familiar.”

Three months after they tied the knot, the couple reportedly discovered their family connection while looking through family pictures. 

The bride said: “When I saw my father in that photo album, I just felt an overwhelming sense of despair.” 

Shockingly, the pair have no plans to divorce and will instead try to make their marriage work. 

The man said: “I’ve already had two failed marriages, and I’m determined not to have a third.” 

His bride added: “Every couple is different and special in their own ways. I feel our bond is so strong that even something like this is not enough to make us give up.” 

Courtesy: The Sun.



Man Brutalized Wife for Inability to Bear a Male Child.

One John Edobor, said to be a staff of Zenith Bank in Nigeria was taken before a Lagos Magistrate's Court a few days ago for breaking the legs of Ivie Edobor, his wife and mother of their three children with a metal rod.  Edobor, who has been married to his wife for nine years, has now left the poor woman handicapped and with the sole responsibility of raising their three daughters.

The woman’s offence was that she “refused” to give birth to a male child. According to Ivie, she was with a friend in front of her residence in Surulere, Lagos, when she was accosted by her husband who came with some thugs.

“Before we could react, a group of area boys attacked us. They held my friend down on the floor, giving John (her husband) the opportunity to focus his attack on me. He tried to hit me on the head with a metal bar, but I shielded myself. I landed on the floor with my legs extended where he proceeded to hit me on the legs continuously with the metal,”

Ivie’s legs were repeatedly hit with the iron rod until her bones fractured. She currently faces the possibility of losing her right leg and is determined to seek justice. 

And due to her “inability” to give Edobor a son, the man started an affair with another woman and flaunted it all over the social media. Worse, the ignorant man was said to have removed his daughters as beneficiaries of his medical insurance package and requested that they be taken to his village to continue their education.

In the 21st Century and the year 2016, it’s a shame that a supposedly educated man such as John Edobor could not remember his high school Biology class that dealt with X and Y Chromosomes. The dumb guy has forgotten that it’s a man’s Chromosomes that are responsible for the gender of a baby. How I wish his daughters would grow up to become achievers in their chosen fields. I also wish the kids will ignore the useless man in his old age.    

Photo credits: Twitter

Angelina Jolie Divorces Brad Pitt.

It’s been confirmed, amidst rumors, by a reliable source to CNN that Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from husband Brad Pitt. There has been speculation that a tabloid-friendly, child-unfriendly custody battle may ensue over their six children. But a source close to them asserted that both sides want a cordial breakup.

“Other than the fame of the people involved, this is like so many other divorces,” the source said.

The divorce filing may tell a very different story.

Pitt and Jolie got married in 2014 but their relationship became the subject of speculation in 2004, when they co-starred in “Mr. & Mrs. Smith.” At the time, Pitt was married to actress Jennifer Aniston.

According to TMZ, Jolie is seeking physical custody of the couple’s six children — Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, Vivienne, and Knox. She is asking the judge to give Pitt visitation, not joint physical custody, which is interesting for a pair, who seemed on the same page when it came to parenting their homeschooled brood and have both said they were raising them as “citizens of the world.”

The Celebration of a Quintessential Lady.

Titilola, iyawo mi atata, Iyalode (1st Class):

On this joyful occasion of your birthday, I pray that God grants all the good desires of your heart. You have earned the rare distinction of being a quintessential lady, wife, lover, mother, advisor and confidant…all rolled into one.

Happy birthday! Many happy returns of the day, Long life and Prosperity. I LOVE YOU.