I
saw an article this evening. The author titled it
"On Rihanna Teaching Me To Say No To Modesty Culture." The writer
explained—very coherently, I must add— that Rihanna used fashion as a buffer
against the meanness of others. Should you get naked to prove a point? I
wondered. You should not get naked to get back at bullies. No, you EXCEL.
Nothing beats excellence! Getting nude as a result of self-confidence is either
a type of sick joke or a paradox or something only Rihanna can claim to be
doing.
The
writer states that teenagers are held to very high standards when it comes to
dressing, especially at school and are expected to be very modest. She says it is
wrong to make females feel ashamed because men are turned on by their form of
dressing.
You
see that is the problem, teenagers do not dress in scandalous outfit because
they are feminists or because they are confident in their bodies. It is in fact
the exact opposite. Some teenagers use their bodies as
objects. Men do not objectify women as much as women themselves do.
We,
as women, have believed somehow that our bodies are weapons. That is the same
reason that even though a girl is fully aware that her “crush” does NOT like
her, she still goes ahead to have sex with him. Because she has spent a
substantial amount of time convincing herself that somehow, her body and sexual
prowess may be enough reasons for him to change his mind.
And
no, not just teenage girls. Adult women also convince themselves that their “cleavages”
can help them get a man. Yes, some perverts objectify women but what is worse is women objectifying themselves.
Oh,
I'm sorry but if your social media’s name is "My ass is badder than
yours." or "sexybooties" or
any of those other crude names I can't readily think of right now, don't
go around complaining that men only identify you with your physical attributes
and endowments and nothing more. Scream until your face turns blue but that is
the perception you and only you give. So, “no nudity” does not mean you are
confident or sexy. Unfortunately, it means the opposite.
Honestly,
I understand that male entitlement exists. I sometimes hate that people only
suggest modesty in women because of men. It's unfortunate that a woman is
expected to make choices on what to wear for fear of being violated by a man. I
also hate that men have been reduced to dogs who have no self-control
whatsoever. It's this type of disgust I feel when women get into marriages and
proceed to expect that the poor husband is definitely going to cheat.
So,
I am not suggesting to anyone to dress modestly just to avoid being raped.
Dress modestly, because it is your choice to do so. Because you understand that
even though, God has blessed you with those beautiful physical attributes, you
are MUCH MORE than that. There is more to you than uploading or sending
tasteless nude pictures of yourself. Yes, you have been very physically
blessed, but there is so much more going on for you than a big behind. Dress
tastefully because you are very intelligent and insightful and will refuse to
be known for just having a “bangin body”.
The
truth is I think that rapists have a sort of mental problem that clothes can't
solve. So, for the most part, this is not about them or any other person. It's
about you and what you decide to represent. It's about respecting yourself
enough to realize that the rest of the world has no business knowing what your
breasts look like.
Love,
Ife.
