Happy Easter.

A Lesson in Civility.

I was headed to a meeting recently at a downtown office building. There was a guy a few steps ahead of me, apparent in a slight hurry. In addition to observing his light jog, I also noticed we were headed in the same direction towards the elevator. As the elevator opened, he immediately got in and began frantically pressing the ‘close door’ button causing the elevator door to close as I was only a few steps away. Because I was visible, his refusal to attempt to hold the elevator for me raised a few questions in my mind about the state of civility in today’s society.We’re involved in a great deal of incivility ranging from simple gestures of kindness; the handling of social media; and, even what’s taking place in the presidential election.  We’ve moved past the days of giving someone the right-of-way  in traffic, stopping at cross walks, saying “excuse me” when inadvertently bumping into someone, sending “thank you” cards, etc. Taking all this into account we want to remind and encourage you to extend a little patience and kindness along with a sprinkling of some random acts of kindness in our everyday lives. We can all make a conscious effort to get civility back!

- Author unknown.

The Importance of Gratitude.

“If we meet someone who owes us thanks, we right away remember. But how often do we meet someone to whom we owe thanks without remembering anything about it?” -  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

Sowing a Seed of Gratitude.

Some years back, after a Sunday morning Mass in Abuja, a young and a good looking lady walked up to me. She was holding a fat brown envelope. She handed the envelope to me and said I should please pray for her. I asked her about the content of the envelope and what particular intention would I be praying for? She told me that she started working just a month ago and that she came to thank the Lord and to offer the first fruit of her work for God’s blessings. What was in the envelope was her salary for that month. Her first salary. The entire money! Everything!

In all honesty, I was speechless not for lack of words but for being unable to know where to begin. Inside me I was like: do people still entrust everything they have to God in a child-like simplicity like this? I was really moved. In my heart, I said a prayer for her, that type of prayer that is deep down, it was as though it was the Holy Spirit Himself that was praying through me. I was feeling the answers to the prayers even before I finished praying. Then she knelt down, I laid my hands upon her and blessed her and the money. After prayers, I asked her to tell me how much was in the envelope. She said Eighty Thousand Naira. 

Then I asked,   “how much covers your transport to your work daily?”

She said “approximately N1,000 naira to and fro, Father.”

That means for 27 work days, it would be N27,000.

Then I spoke up again, “Sorry o, I am asking you too many questions, how much do you feed daily when you go to work?”

She answered “It depends. If I want to eat so well, I spend 800 naira with drinks, but mainly I spend just N500, and sometimes I carry food from home.”

So, I made the calculation in my head. Let say she spends 500 naira daily, 27 work days would be 13,500 naira. I went ahead to enquire about her accommodation and I discovered that she stayed alone in an apartment she just rented. We made the calculation by dividing the annual rent by 12 months and we discovered that if she was to pay rent monthly, it would be N12,500. Her monthly electricity and water bill with other fees for house maintenance was put at N10,000. On phone calls and data, we approximated it to be N5000 monthly. Her monthly DSTV subscription was around N3,600 for DSTV family bouquet. When you put all the expenses together and subtract it from the N80,000, she would be left with N8,400 to buy food stuffs and other things in the house. These are the expenses that she was sure to spend every month. We had not even talked about other things like make up, doing her hair, clothes, gifts to family and even savings. This was a huge sacrifice, in my judgment. I intentionally asked her those questions so as to ascertain the depth of her sacrifice.

I brought out the envelope, bless it for the second time and gave it to her. I looked at her countenance and I knew she was not too comfortable with my action. Then I took time to explain the Bible to her. That was when I discovered that so many people do not truly understand how God works. When God asks us for first fruit or for tithe or for any sacrifice, it is not so that He will eat it. No! He has no need of our money. When He asked Abraham to sacrifice his only son, it was not because he liked seeing the blood of innocent children. When He asked Abel and Cain to make a sacrifice to Him, it was not because he ate fruit or even drank blood of rams. It is simply to test how committed we are, how willing are we to leave everything to Him. Do we, like Cain, select offerings that we no longer desire and give to Him or do we, like Abel, empty everything to Him?

This lady that brought the first fruit began to understand for the first time. Right from when she put the money in the envelope to bring to God, God had already accepted her offering. The minister must not spend the money. It is just that most of us ministers are unfortunately greedy. And we use God’s name to cover it up. We often see the part of scriptures that favor our stomach. Theologically, when you give to God, He transforms that gift and gives it back to you. The bread and wine people offer before mass are transformed to the body and blood of Christ and given back to the people to eat and drink. The son Isaac that Abraham gave to God, was transformed to be a channel that would bring forth the fulfillment of God’s promise and given back to Abraham. The offerings of bread and fish people brought were prayed upon and given back to them to eat and they were filled, still there was left over. The water they filled at the wedding in Cana is given back to them as wine. The Ugwu Kelvin that my parents offered to God, is given back to them as a priest. The money that the young lady brought to me as her first fruit is blessed and given back to her as pure gift from heaven.

-- By Rev.Fr.Ugwu Kelvin.

Thanking God for Jesus.

I woke up this morning thanking God for Jesus.

 

And why not? The whole world would have been a terrorized zone. Today, people with characteristics that were similar to those of the biblical Zachaeus, Mary Magdalen and others would have become outcasts, if not daily stoned to death on the orders of some "righteous" few. If not for Jesus, merry-making, all forms of drinks and the mere act of looking good would have been forbidden or totally decreed into nonexistence by the "holy" individuals among us.

 

Let's thank God for Jesus. He preached love and tolerance. He taught us to always "remove the logs of wood in our eyes before seeing the little specs in other people's eyes". He also  admonished "those of you who have 'never sinned' to cast the first stone" when sitting in judgement over other persons.

 

In essence, Jesus spent His lifetime preaching that we should let our individual consciences be our chambers of justice. He never wasted time or energy on outward appearances because His objective was to save our souls, not our bodies or adornments. And this is why the contents of our hearts are more important to Him than our bodies.

 

Yes, some Christians are into a life of miserable, dreadful and pathetic existence as proofs of their holiness...even though their hearts are filled with hatred, envy and all forms of negativity. But in all sincerity, Christianity doesn't have to be such a pain and neither does it have to be so suffocating. All thanks to Jesus.

Hard Facts of Life.

 

1. No matter what you say and how you say it, SOME people will never get it. 

2. No matter how pure your motives are, SOMEBODY will still accuse you of ill intentions. Stay pure anyway.

3. No matter how humble you are, somebody will still consider you proud. Stay humble, anyway.

4. No matter how generous you are, somebody will still call you "selfish". Remain generous, anyway. 

5. Sometimes some of your greatest pains will come from those you gave the most pleasure. 

6. Some of your greatest disappointments will come from those you gave your best appointments or commitments. 

7. Sometimes some of the worst things you'd hear about yourself may come from those you speak the best of. 

8. Not everyone in your ship is paddling in the direction of your dreamed destination. discernment is key.  

9. Loving people sometimes means feeling used by them. 

10. Sometimes, doing the right thing ends up making you look like a fool. 

11. Some individuals may take this piece personal...that's the work of conscience. But, at one point or the other, everyone will need one or more of these points.

The Need for Self Compassion.

"There is much focus in the teachings of our faiths regarding showing compassion for others. 

Let us not forget, however, to show compassion to ourselves. Is there anyone we are tougher on than ourselves? Is there anyone we judge more harshly than ourselves? Is there anyone we physically and emotionally mistreat more than ourselves? 

It is a healthy thing to be introspective and to recognize the emotions and thoughts we have in each moment. But we must handle those epiphanies with care and compassion - and absent judgment and condemnation.  

There is nothing inherently good or bad about feeling happy, angry, sad, loving, vengeful, compassionate, and so on. They are emotions, nothing more or less. They are normal. Feeling angry is no reason to launch into self-recrimination or for beating yourself up and calling yourself a bad person. 

The thought, the emotion, the feeling - they are not inherently good or bad. How we act upon them, how we treat ourselves and others subsequent to them, is what matters most.  

Be kind to yourself. Be grateful that you have the capacity for self-awareness and the ability to experience any kind of emotion and yet continue to live a mindful and compassionate existence. Bless you." ~ Dharma Beginne.

You Think There is no God?

Every day, a woman stood on her porch and shouted, “Praise the Lord!” 

And every day, the atheist next door would yell, “there is no Lord!”

One day, the woman prayed, “Lord, I’m hungry. Please send me groceries.” 

The next morning, she found a big bag of food on the stairs. 

‘Praise the Lord…” she shouted in gratitude.

“Ah! I told you there was no Lord,” her neighbor said, jumping from behind a bush. “I bought those groceries…not some Lord.” 

“Praise the Lord!” the woman shouted louder this time. “He not only sent me groceries, but he made the devil pay for them."   

Courtesy: Readers Digest (May, 2013 edition).



God's Magnanimous Kindness.

God, I want to thank you for your many blessings upon my life…because you often bless me publicly. Most times, I am baffled by the wonders you’re performing in my life, the same way I was baffled way back then when my high school principal gave me an “award” for doing some bull-sh***—his way of teaching me a "lesson".





Anyway, thanks for your patience, mercy and magnanimous kindness. If you were to consider my sins, I would have been in serious trouble. Fortunately, you don’t want the death of sinners but only for us to repent. And I thank you Lord for recognizing that some of us are “Work-In-Progress”…even though some people think mine is taking too long to “complete”.

The great thing is that your ways are different from that of Man. You’re never tired of my asking for forgiveness, knowing fully well that I don’t take your mercy for granted. In my total submission and gratitude to you therefore, I give you Lord all the praises, glories and adorations In Jesus name. Amen!

God's Magnanimous Kindness.

On this glorious Sunday, I want to thank you God publicly for your many blessings upon my life…because you often bless me publicly. Most times, I am baffled by the wonders you’re performing in my life, the same way I was baffled way back then when my high school principal gave me an “award” for doing some bull-sh***—it was the man's way of teaching me a "lesson". Anyway, I'm thanking for your patience, mercy and magnanimous kindness. If you were to consider my sins, I would have been in serious trouble. Fortunately, you don’t want the death of sinners but only for us to repent. And I thank you Lord for recognizing that some of us are “Work-In-Progress”…even though some people think mine is taking too long to “complete”. The great thing is that your ways are different from that of Man. You’re never tired of my asking for forgiveness, knowing fully well that I don’t take your mercy for granted. In my total submission and gratitude to you therefore, I give you Lord all the praises, glories and adorations In Jesus name. Amen!

My Strange Christmas Gift.

On Christmas day, it was raining like crazy as I left for work. Shortly afterward, a front tire burst in motion. I managed to pull into a gas station and would have relied on my insurance company for help but they said it would take hours. After removing the bad tire, I reached for the donut (extra tire) but to my horror, it had was totally flat. Unfortunately, the gas station had turned off their Air pump because of the holiday. I felt like kicking it. Now, at my tether’s end, I sat in the car praying for a miracle.

Soon, a middle-aged lady pulled into the gas station to ask for directions to a store. I told her all the stores had closed for Christmas. She thanked me and was about to pull away when, out of curiosity, she asked what I was doing in the rain. I told her about my situation. And to my surprise, she simply said: “I’ll take you to a gas station where you can fill-up the spare tire…”

We kept going from one gas station to the other. None however had a functioning Air pump. I was exasperated until finally, we got lucky. But I didn’t have quarters to operate it. As if on cue, the lady opened her glove compartment to get the needed $1:50 coins. After a while, it dawned on both of us that the extra tire was not taking in air. It was like pouring water into a basket.

Now utterly perplexed, I politely asked if the lady could take me to work. Not minding the distance, she said “why not?” At this stage, we were both drenched and tired. But not for once did she express any regret or frustration. When I asked her about this, she only smiled. She however admonished me for being blasphemous when I referred to her as my guardian angel. And when I offered her money for gas, she felt offended and disappointed. To her, the whole thing was her Christmas gift to me.

As she dropped me off at work, the lady ignored my expression of gratitude. She said: “God has a reason for everything. So, in every situation you find yourself…no matter how disappointing or frustrating…don't despair. Instead, just give thanks to the Lord. Merry Christmas!” 

My Most Significant Thanksgiving Holiday.

This is the most significant Thanksgiving Holiday for me. If someone, at the beginning of this year, had prophesied to me with a typical cliché or platitude like “This is Your Year of Impossibilities Becoming Possible”, I would have (by now) been seeing the person as some angel. This really is my year! And a testimony that a sinner like me can still see and obtain the grace of God in abundance.

So Far, So Good.

"I can see clearly now, the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I've been prayin' for
It's gonna be a bright
(Bright), bright (bright)
Sun-shiny day
Look all around, there's nothin' but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin' but blue skies..."
- Johnny Nash.

28th Wedding Anniversary.

 The marital union between me and my precious treasure commenced on Saturday, August 1st, 1987.

Five months after the wedding.

28 years later.

A Fathers’ Day Reflection.

A couple of days ago, a childhood friend and I were reflecting on fatherhood. We both wondered how, on Fathers’ Days, every man whose loin has produced a kid wants to be celebrated as a father. Yet, if the truth must be told, among us are men who are forever missing-in-action as fathers. There are also some men who have to be compelled by the courts before they start paying child supports.

What about the “Disney fathers”? They only appear once in a while, take their kids to parks or wherever and then disappear. Finally, there are men who, though live under the same roofs with their kids, they are emotionally distant. These are guys whose idea of fatherhood is on “auto-pilot”. And like the way eagles drop their eaglets from tree-tops, whoever survives the total act of ignominy among their kids eventually becomes the favorite. Just watch the annual shows such as the Oscars, Grammy and BET awards. You’ll hear winners shower praises on their mothers without a word on their fathers.

In retrospect, my friend remarked that both of us have been lucky to have stress-free, blissful fatherhood. None of our kids even subjected us to the dreadful teen age craziness. While acknowledging that fact, I however noted that mine has not been due to a mere luck. It has been due largely to the grace of God. To start with, God blessed me with the most dynamic, wonderful partner/wife/mother. Unlike most couples, during our courtship days, my wife and I almost talked each other to death as we mapped out plans for the future. One such plan was on the “modus operandi” to adopt in the raising of our kids. It took a while but the kids have since realized that our parenting principle is based on a joint, pro-active one-voice-consensus. Whatever mommy decides in regard to any child gets the nod of daddy, and vice versa. Hence, the task of parenting comes easily for us. It’s been no wonder therefore that the kids have turned out to be the sanctuary of our joy, peace and love. Above all, to God be the glory!

Happy Fathers’ Day!!!

To All Great Foster and Adoptive Parents.

28 years ago, an 8-year-old boy and his younger brother were taken to a foster home upon the arrest of their crime-prone, single-parent mother. Just a couple of hours earlier, these poor kids were roused from their sleep by the pounding and knocking down of their door by the police. While still suffering from the emotional trauma, the confused and frightened kids stared gloomily at their foster parents who tried to calm them down. Being so late in the night however, they were shown into their room.

The following morning after taking their showers and fully dressed, the kids were pleasantly ushered into the dining area. Two things caught their attention immediately. The two had never seen so much delicious foods in their lives. And in the center of the table was a huge cake. It had been prepared all through the night by their foster mother who reminded the older kid that the day was his 8th year anniversary and that the cake was meant for the birthday celebration. Stunned, the boy burst into tears. In a subsequent offer of apology, he explained that he had never celebrated a birthday. Most times in the past anyway, he and his sibling often forgot their respective birthdays. This celebration would then become an annual tradition instituted by the couple who went on to adopt the two brothers. 20 years later with college degrees, great jobs and now married, the two brothers and their wives have since welcomed into their respective homes a foster kid each, who they eventually adopted. This was in line with a joint resolution they had earlier made.

This story was the content of an e-mail I received today from a guy who wanted me to share it with other readers. His objective was three-fold. To appreciate the roles of all great foster/adoptive parents. He wondered what the fates of he and his brother would have been today without their adoptive parents. He expected those of us who were (are) raised by biological, foster or adoptive parents not to take the kind gestures for granted. And finally, he wanted everyone to try showing some acts of kindness to those in need.

[embed]https://youtu.be/B1OLtpWKQvU[/embed]

 

Appreciating What You Have.

There was this story about a young couple. Both the husband and wife were educated professionals living in a Philadelphia apartment building. And they were notorious for their frequent noisy fights. At least, once in a month, the wife would throw her husband out after heated arguments.

On one such occasion, the two were in the middle of another noisy fight in the evening when the wife began to throw the man’s shirts, shoes and other stuff out while screaming at him to go find somewhere to stay for the night. As she did this, their next-door neighbor quietly opened her door and called out to the man to bring his stuff into her apartment.

“Seriously?” the wife asked the neighbor in fury. “Are you out of your frigging mind…asking my husband to move into your apartment?”

Nodding her head calmly, the other women stated. “You don’t appreciate what you have. If you did, you’d not be throwing your husband out every time you have a quarrel…”

Now amused by the turn of event, the husband stared at his stupefied wife who, at this stage, tried to hide her embarrassment by screaming at her husband one more time. “And what are you staring at the bitch for…will you pick up your stuff and get right back inside?”

 

 

 

 

The Only Prayer You'll Ever Need.

At the Stanford University's Memorial Church last Monday, Oprah Winfrey was reported to have educated the audience on what it meant to live a meaningful life.



Asking the more than 1,000 members of the audience to close their eyes, the media mogul encouraged them to breathe and feel the pulse of their personal energy.

"Open your heart and quietly to yourself say the only prayer that's ever needed: Thank you, thank you, thank you," she said. "You're still here. You get another chance this day to do better and be better, another chance to become more of who you were created and what you're created to fulfill. Thank you. Amen."

Oprah Winfrey was there to deliver an annual lecture in honor of the late Professor Harry Rathburn, a former faculty member at Stanford Law School. She went on to give students a glimpse of the earliest parts of her spiritual formation, back when she was a child attending Sunday school classes in rural Mississippi.

That’s it! I am in total agreement with Oprah. The only prayer we’ll ever need is a prayer of thanksgiving. All God needs from us is a heart of gratitude. Therefore, there is no point in delivering long speeches to God in the name of prayers. At the end of the day, those verbal epistles rarely contain one word of thanks but a long list of demands.

 

Birthday Greeting to a Dearest Daughter.

Ebunoluwa, Iyalode 3rd: As you celebrate an addition to your glorious years on earth, may God Almighty continue to shower His bountiful blessings upon you.



You’re always after my heart---smart, focused, goal-oriented, determined, confident and extra-ordinary in everything you do. Thanks for always bringing joy to my heart. Happy birthday! I wish you a Long life and abundant Prosperity!!!



 

My Life’s Odyssey: So Far, So Good.

Today, I have been deemed fit to have another year added to my days in life. And, as I give all the credits, honors and glories to the Almighty God, I affirm that:

“The sun will no longer be my (only) light by day, and neither will the brightness of the moon (alone ) shine on me, for the Lord will be my everlasting light, and God will be my glory. My sun will never set, and my moon will not wane; the Lord will be my everlasting light, and my days of sorrow has ended…The least of me will become a thousand, and the smallest, a mighty nation. So says the Lord; and He will fulfil these prophesies in my life.” - (Adapted from the book of Isaiah, chapter 60).

Below is a picture of me (as an "up and coming young man") with my big sister.