Gen. Colin Powell on Racism.

It’s downright shameful that a whole President Obama is rudely confronted with so much stereotypes and disrespects on daily basis and, especially, by those who are not as well-educated and professionally grounded as he is.

 

What then should poor folks like me expect from similar ignorant people all around us? Most often when I look at the idiots who try stereotyping and disrespecting me, I realize that they are barely educated. Each time this happens, all I see is a fool who cannot see beyond his/her nose. And this only drives me crazy.

I am Back!!!!!!!

About a year ago, I relocated my blogging endeavor to the Wordpress website. Due to some unforeseen circumstances however, I have resolved to return to this domain. In view of this therefore, I promise to continue my blog posting in the same tradition of objectivity, uniqueness and analytical candor for which I have always been known. 

This, indeed, is a new dawn for my writing.

And thank you for your readership.

In Life, only Change is Constant.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.” – Darwin.

That's it! Change is the only thing that is constant in life. No one can be more frustrated or miserable than a person that opposes changes in his or her life, career and other circumstances. Therefore, whether planned or imposed, endeavor to embrace every change that comes your way. Even when imposed---you never know---it may turn out to be the best thing to ever happen to you, at the end of the day.

When it’s Time to Make a Decision and let Go of it.

“Que sera, sera,
whatever will be, will be,
the future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera,
What will be, will be”. - Doris Day.

[caption id="attachment_1873" align="alignleft" width="300"] Black And White Empty Road[/caption]

I had to include the above song lyrics in an e-mail response I sent to a guy who was about to take a tough, sensitive decision. The poor young man was scared that the decision might end up being wrong and regrettable. In my opinion, all we need do in making a very important decision is to consider certain pertinent factors in our lives. After all, it’s all about us, not someone else. And once the decision is taken, there shall be no looking back. We have to let go. After all, no one is perfect. And besides that, whatever will be, will be. To sweat over a decision after it has been made is like taking time to write a letter, put it inside a stamped, addressed envelope, affix a postage stamp to it and then holding on to it forever. How will the mail get to its destination if we don’t let go by placing it inside a mail box?

To All Great Foster and Adoptive Parents.

28 years ago, an 8-year-old boy and his younger brother were taken to a foster home upon the arrest of their crime-prone, single-parent mother. Just a couple of hours earlier, these poor kids were roused from their sleep by the pounding and knocking down of their door by the police. While still suffering from the emotional trauma, the confused and frightened kids stared gloomily at their foster parents who tried to calm them down. Being so late in the night however, they were shown into their room.

The following morning after taking their showers and fully dressed, the kids were pleasantly ushered into the dining area. Two things caught their attention immediately. The two had never seen so much delicious foods in their lives. And in the center of the table was a huge cake. It had been prepared all through the night by their foster mother who reminded the older kid that the day was his 8th year anniversary and that the cake was meant for the birthday celebration. Stunned, the boy burst into tears. In a subsequent offer of apology, he explained that he had never celebrated a birthday. Most times in the past anyway, he and his sibling often forgot their respective birthdays. This celebration would then become an annual tradition instituted by the couple who went on to adopt the two brothers. 20 years later with college degrees, great jobs and now married, the two brothers and their wives have since welcomed into their respective homes a foster kid each, who they eventually adopted. This was in line with a joint resolution they had earlier made.

This story was the content of an e-mail I received today from a guy who wanted me to share it with other readers. His objective was three-fold. To appreciate the roles of all great foster/adoptive parents. He wondered what the fates of he and his brother would have been today without their adoptive parents. He expected those of us who were (are) raised by biological, foster or adoptive parents not to take the kind gestures for granted. And finally, he wanted everyone to try showing some acts of kindness to those in need.

[embed]https://youtu.be/B1OLtpWKQvU[/embed]

 

Slander as a Loser's Tool.

Why I Hate Math.

My daughter has just written a beautiful piece on her blog. It was about the negative experience she had with the subject of Math. She aptly reminded me of my own high school days and the horrible experience I had with the subject.

Really, the subject was not (and is still not) hard. The problem however was that the individuals charged with the responsibility of laying the Math foundation in our lives back then were some, tired, boring old men. I remember one particular Math teacher (Mr. I-think-get-it). This alias was coined from his fast-speaking and intermittent use of the question: “I think you get it?”

As he approached our class one day, I grabbed my books and walked out. He turned around quickly to call me aside. And gently, he asked why I always chose to leave whenever he was coming. I explained my dislike for Math. He then stared hard at me and said, “Young man, I have to give you some bad news...there is no way you can ever do without Mathematics in your life…”

The old man has since been vindicated several times over. All my life…I have not been able to avoid Math. The more I advance in life, the more the subject keeps getting in my face mischievously.

Yes, I Have Trust Issues.

Usually, I don’t bother my head about what other people think of me. And I'm realistic enough to always look beyond smiling faces. However, there are times when I imagine the kind of thoughts shrouded in the minds of certain individuals. I was in a meditative mood over this issue sometimes ago when a colleague came over. We had barely exchanged pleasantries and traded some banters when he threw a question at me.

Colleague: Hey no offense, but there's one thing I’ve been trying to figure out about you…
Me: What’s that?
Colleague: I have this feeling that you have trust issues…
Me: (Interrupting him mid-sentence) Yes, I do have trust issues.
Colleague: (Sighs) You’re not even denying it?
Me: (Very calmly) No.
Colleague: (Pauses briefly) Okay…So, how come you have trust issues?
Me: (Smiling) Listen…I've come a long way. In the banking/financial industry, I held very sensitive positions. If I didn’t have trust issues, I would have ended up in jail or dead.
Colleague: Wow! That's something...
Me: My folks have a saying about life; "People's wish for you is to be like a partridge with all its aura of poverty." If I didn't have trust issues, wouldn't I be like that hapless bird today?
Colleague: (Now laughing) That's right!
Me: In my current profession, with all the risks and hazards involved, if I didn’t have trust issues, I could have been fired or worse, dead by now.
Colleague: Oh, I know about that one…
Me: Great! And what about my days as a bachelor with different women in my life? If I didn’t have trust issues, I would not have been so painstakingly patient enough to meet and marry the most wonderful lady in the world.
Colleague: (Now laughing) That’s so true! Okay, I understand where you’re coming from…
Me: Good! Now, you know why I have trust issues.

When A Storm Rages.

NAL Merchant Bank: Remembering a Day of Infamy.

This month marks the 20th anniversary of the month, in 1995, when Nigeria’s premier investment Bank decided to do away with several of its staff. It was not due to any professional misconduct on the part of the affected staff. And neither was the bank in financial distress. Ironically, it was only a couple of weeks earlier that the same bank declared a good profit. But the new CEO and some senior management staff got greedy. They wanted an increase in their collective benefits. And the only way to achieve this was through the massive staff lay off.

Unfortunately, NAL offered no gratuities or pensions. Each of the victims was only given a token sum of money which the bank called a “Golden Handshake”. The hardest-hit were those with outstanding loans. The little sum was summarily utilized to off-set their loans. Sadly, many of them walked out with nothing. And, unlike some of us young folks, there were those long-serving guys on whose backs the bank was built. They had invested the major part of their lives in the bank. Within the next couple of months therefore, the sad effects began to manifest in their lives. The shock was so palpable for some guys that they became psychologically-disoriented. Some others fell into manic depressions. There were those whose marriages fell apart. And worse, a couple of guys died.

Why all these severe reactions? In Nigeria of those days, NAL was a place to be. The salary was enormous. The benefits were gargantuan. There were assorted allowances. From Furniture to Housing and other allowances. Some perks were even duplicated. Monthly car maintenance allowance came with luxurious buses for those who preferred to be chauffeured-driven free-of-charge. Staff enjoyed generous monthly luncheon vouchers in addition to groceries that were called “essential commodities”. Opportunities for loans at very low interest rates were vast. Examples were mortgage loans, Car loans and shares (stocks) loans. Personal loans were interest-free. In addition to a paid annual leave, every staff was also entitled to a leave allowance. Every December, double salaries were paid for Christmas celebration. This would be followed by an elaborate Christmas party at a selected posh hotel. And lest I forget. At the end of every financial year, staff were paid “Incentive Bonus”, a share of the bank’s profit. But on the day of infamy, everything came to a screeching halt!

On that fateful day, I was the first person to walk out of the premises because I had earlier been tipped off about the impending doom. The source also gave me the names of those in the panel that compiled the list. In retrospect though, I will always thank God for His grace and mercy. I also congratulate the other survivors. But what about members of the panel, especially those of them who seized the opportunity to witch-hunt their “enemies”? Under what circumstances did each of them eventually leave the bank? And what about the CEO? Now, fast-forward to 2015, how much fortunes have they all amassed since 1995?

As for the bank, the March, 1995 mass sacking was the prelude to its demise. Neither its latter-day recourse to retail banking nor name-change could save it. It has since vanished from the nation’s banking landscape.  In 2006, I visited Nigeria and was (one day) driving by the erstwhile “NAL Towers”. A dear friend, who was with me, was so touched by the ghastly appearance of the building that he subsequently wrote a newspaper article about the rise, decline and fall of the bank.  It was aptly titled “In Loving Memory of NAL”.



Pictured above is the erstwhile majestic and magnificent "NAL Towers" towering above all other buildings along the Lagos Marina landscape.

Hollywood’s Blacks: Servants, Slaves, Ghetto Moms and Thugs. By Deneen Borrelli.

While working with two black co-workers a few years ago, the topic of black history came up and we decided to challenge each other. Although they were a few years away from graduating from college, I realized they had limited knowledge about the achievements of historically important black Americans.

I was surprised they did not know the answer to questions such as, “Who was the first black female millionaire?" and "Who was Benjamin Banneker?” I was shocked at the answers I received.

After thinking about this I realized their lack of knowledge was certainly not related to intellect but was a result of our culture, where the achievements of historically important blacks are absent.

If you asked them about the latest hip-hop stars, athletes or movie stars, they probably could give brief biographies of several of them. Yet, they were unaware of black Americans who not only prospered in their chosen fields, but helped shape the course of American history.

Movies like The Help, The Butler, Precious, 12 Years a Slave, and Training Day all had black people as central characters. All won some type of award or nomination and/or had actors that were recognized with awards. Sounds good outwardly, right? If you take a second glance, you will notice all of these movies promoted stereotypes of black people.

Unfortunately, it appears a large majority of our awards are presented to blacks when we play roles where we are servants, slaves, ghetto moms, or thugs. The sad part is that many of these actors have been in other movies that have been just as good, yet they went unrecognized when they didn't "fit the description.”

Films and television programs, along with R&B artists and hip-hop stars who are way too numerous to list, all contribute to the negative black stereotypes.

My thoughts? Despite Hollywood's overwhelming Democrat support, which is supposed to be sensitive to our community, Hollywood is more comfortable when we (black people) are in our place.

I can hear the pro-Hollywood crowd now… “But these pictures and others are only reflections of what has happened or what is currently going on in our communities.” True, but so were many other positive black people who are rarely mentioned.

Why not make a major motion picture about George Washington Carver, who was both a brilliant scientist and a man of God? Or Charles Drew, who made amazing medical discoveries with blood plasma that led to the invention of the blood bank? Something uplifting that the black community could look up to as a model of progression.

In the end, we have to ask ourselves: If Black History Month, and black history overall, was truly honored in our schools, homes and our communities, our standards in what we call black entertainment wouldn't be allowed. We as a people would demand better and because money talks above all else in Hollywood, we would get what we asked for.

As long as we demand, and often times accept, lower standards and stereotypical entertainment, then lower standards are what we will get.

And if black Americans refuse to recognize that one of the greatest threats to continued stereotypes in entertainment are elite-minded liberals who claim to be our friends, we will keep getting the short end of the stick.

It's time to honor the memory of those who made Black History Month possible and start telling the true story.

Hollywood, we have enough movies that glorify the ghost of our past. Let's take a chance on introducing movies that highlight the accomplishments that black Americans have made in our country's history.

Maybe then we will inspire more of our people to greater things when they realize how great black history in America really is.

Black Talents in the Eyes of Hollywood.

“…generally speaking, we, as black people, have been celebrated more for when we are subservient, when we are not being leaders or kings or being at the center of our own narrative. Denzel Washington should have won (Oscar) for playing Malcolm X and Sidney Poitier should have won his Oscar for “In the Heat of the Night” rather than “Lilies of the Field”. -  David Oyelowo, the star of Selma, when asked about being the subject of “Oscar snub outrage."

The Truth Will Always be the Truth.

A Forgettable Anniversary.

From Homeless to Harvard: The Story of David Boone.

David Boone was only 14 years old when his family lost their home to gang violence in Cleveland, Ohio. The teenager’s problems arose when he refused to join a gang. In retaliation, their house was riddled with bullets. Consequently, the family split up, causing David to become homeless. Most of the time, he had to sleep in the park but only in the afternoon because it was not safe to do so in the night.

His high school principal, Jeff McClellan, was highly impressed with boy’s constant early arrival in school (he was getting up at 5 a.m.) not knowing that he was homeless. By the time the principal realized the situation, he and his wife resolved to take David in to live with them for over a year. The young man graduated from high school as the salutatorian and was accepted to Harvard, Princeton, Brown, Cornell, Yale, and University of Pennsylvania among others. He however chose Harvard University on a full scholarship from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

David Boone’s life is a classic example of an inspiring “grass to grace” story especially in the black community. In his community, too many young people are lurking in street corners to sell drugs, pimping women or wasting away in jails. Their usual excuses for taking the wrong paths can be as silly as lame and nonsensical. For instance, if the reason alluded to their negative situations in life is not due to the “lack of a father figure” in their lives, it will be because of their skin color or something else that can irritate a sane mind. Yet, in spite of the fact that David Boone could have easily hidden behind similar excuses if he wanted to drop out of school early on or to pursue a criminal enterprise, he worked hard to be where he is today.

Things to Do When You've Been Betrayed.

After being betrayed, most of us want two things, usually at the same time. We want to wound the person who hurt us—as deeply and as excruciatingly—as we've been wounded, and we want to rise above the situation and offer that person forgiveness. But neither of these tactics work. Wounding words tend to boomerang and make you feel as terrible as the person you wanted to hurt. Forgiveness, especially if halfhearted, tends to come off as condescension.

There are actions, though, that you can take to can heal yourself. Every hurt has its own story, and so does every healing. But we can say this: You can heal yourself when you've filled the hole left behind by a betrayal, and you can heal the other person when you sincerely drop the need for revenge.

Remember, the only betrayals that inflict damage are the ones where an intimate bond has been torn. Love makes you merge with another person, able to feel their emotions as keenly as you feel your own. If you have experienced such bonding, you know that it is a kind of higher reality—and when that bond is ripped apart, it's as if you've lost half of yourself. So how can you get out of torment and find yourself again?

1. Gain some detachment. Stand back and view yourself as if you were the helper, not the victim.


2.  Don't indulge in emotions you cannot afford. Don't act as if you’re feeling worse than you really are—or better.

3. Make a plan for emotional recovery. Look at where you hurt, feel wounded or see yourself as victimized, then set out to heal these areas. Don't rely simply on letting time do it for you.

4. Feel the hole inside and grieve over it—but promise yourself that you will fill it.

5. Seek a confidant who has survived the same betrayal and has come out on the other side.

6. Work toward a tomorrow that will be better than yesterday. Don't fixate on the past or what might have been.

7. Counter self-pity by being of service to someone else. Counter regret by seeking out activities that build your self-esteem.

Written by Deepak Chopra.

What is Life Without Principles?

I really can’t imagine how anyone can blindly wade through life without a set of principles to lean on. This is the foundation of all virtues. Life is tough as it is and without a set of guiding principles, firmly in place, no moral or social grace can come into existence or be sustained. Yet, there is never a room for principles where there is no self-discipline.

Unprincipled people may as well be walking about with blindfolds, falling into pits here and potholes there. If they are fortunate, they may survive life without grievous physical and emotional scars.

It’s however a different kettle of fish for every individual that imbibes strong, positive principles. While life may not always be kind to them, neither will it ever destroy them. If anything, every encounter with a negative fate will only provide an avenue for the acquisition of more wisdom for the principled.

The Pursuit of Excellence.

“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” – Aristotle.

Taking Nothing For Granted: I remember 1991.

It was around this time in October, 1991 when I suffered from a dangerous case of food poisoning. That was a classic example of a gradual process of dying. Right before my eyes, my life was slipping away at a horrific pace. But I thank God for His grace, great luck and a good, prompt medical attention at the Eko Hospital, Lagos, Nigeria. I survived the ordeal. I was given so many injections and I.V. bottles that I thought there would be no more spaces on my butt and hands to punch holes with needles.

And I thought there was something extraordinary about my medical case---until I heard about some rich, powerful corporate C.E.O. in the room next to mine. He was suffering from renal failure, “a medical condition in which the kidneys fail to adequately filter waste products from the blood”. And just opposite my room was a woman, said to be the wife of a top shot in the government. She was suffering from colorectal cancer. This is “also known as colon cancer, rectal cancer or bowel cancer, a type of cancer that attacks the colon or rectum (parts of the large intestine)”.

When I heard of those more serious medical cases, I felt ashamed that I had made a big deal about my ordinary case of food poisoning. It didn’t matter to me anymore that by the time I was brought to the hospital, my heart, liver, kidneys and other vital organs were diagnosed to be at their lowest ebb. It was also no longer important that my doctor said, had I not got to the hospital at the time I did, there was a strong possibility of a massive heart attack. At that moment, what mattered to me was the sad news that the two hapless patients mentioned above did not survive their ailments!

Since then, I resolved to never take any good thing in my life for granted. So far, I have been richly blessed with all the good things of life. But even the mundane stuff pale insignificantly and grossly little when compared to my great physical and mental endowments. And there were great bonuses in the persons of a most wonderful wife and joyfully-enriching children for whom I will do anything to appreciate, protect and daily thank the almighty God.

The Dilemma of a Perfect Gentleman.

I have always believed in the wise words of sages.

I particularly treasure the admonition that a woman of virtue can consider herself, a precious jewel, that must not be given out to the swine of a man, lest he tramples his foot on her. Another word of wisdom is to never bother teaching a pig how to sing. The effort will be a waste of your time and the pig will end up getting angry.

What however happens where a "precious jewel" is handed to an appreciative gentleman who not only loves, adores and cherishes her but also gets over-protective, lest her great values be tarnished? I guess the sages of old would have expected only sheer gratitude from such a woman; except that in today’s world, there is tendency for the woman to react negatively rather than gratefully. And trying , under that circumstance, to explain the situation to an ungrateful woman can only get the man frustrated while the woman gets hassled.