Tribute to an Epitome of Motherhood.

Today, it’s precisely 40 years since she departed this sinful world. A very strict, no-nonsense woman and generous to a fault, Sarah Segilola Olawole was the epitome of motherhood. It was from her that I first heard the term, “labor of love”, when a parent has to steer an erring child onto the right path even if it involves some “spankings” or “back-hand” slaps (like someone playing table-tennis). I was about 19 years old when I told her (cheek-in-tongue) that if we were to be in America, her tough style of raising kids would have got her into jail. Initially, she screwed up her face, gave me a “how dare you” stare then, she shook her head slowly and said “Let me tell you something…it would be better for me to be in jail than to let YOU go to jail…” My dearest mother, how I wish you could physically be around today to behold all the good things of life that you painstakingly envisaged, stressed over and labored so much for us (your kids) to attain. Yes, it’s been 40 years since your untimely demise. But the pain subsists…because you did not enjoy the fruits of your labor…and this hurts deeply. May you continue to rest peacefully in the bosom of the Lord.

8 Things You Have to Give up to be Successful.

Becoming a millionaire is no easy feat. It takes discipline, focus, and a set of core values that guide you around the emotions and stress of daily combat. It's all too easy to get sidetracked by the latest new strategy for success — like social media or digital marketing or sales automation. You find yourself chasing tactics one after another, hoping that you will eventually get rich with one of them. 

When one doesn't work, you throw it away, quickly adopting another new tactic. As you repeat that cycle, the idea of becoming a millionaire becomes blurry. What used to be very clear now seems frantically out of reach. One thing successful people know is that getting ahead is as much about what you do as what you don't do. Here are eight things you have to give up to achieve success.

1. Not taking responsibility for your actions: In any area of your life, what you do has consequences. Sometimes those are good. Other times you are left with regrets. Actions have results. That's a universal truth. It never changes. You will always get the results deserved by the activity that you're doing. You might not like those results, but you'll always get them. Which is a good thing. You need to believe that what you do can make a difference. Hard work matters. A kind word matters. Honesty matters. Candor, personal responsibility, and fairness — they all matter. Because the lifestyle you lead is what ultimately determines how rich and successful you become. Make sure you're doing the right things. 

2. Being a know-it-all: Don't be that person that cuts everyone off mid-sentence. Listen to people. Don't interrupt your employees or your customers. Don't roll your eyes and stomp your feet while you wait for the person who is talking to stop. That's selfish and shortsighted. And besides coming off as completely arrogant, you are missing out on important lessons by acting that way. Let's be honest, a lot of things you hear are unimportant: facts you already know, or criticism that is hurtful and unusable. But if you can listen long enough you'll hear some really important information that will help you succeed. Listen for those moments. Ignore everything else. 

3. Whining: Stop complaining. Stop being the person who has to help "keep everyone else's feet on the ground." That's just an excuse for you to whine and mope and be unnecessarily negative. No one likes a whiner. That's just the truth. It impacts more than the people around you at the time of your whining. It directly impacts who you hire and how you manage your teams. If you whine, your people will whine. And the last thing you need when you're trying to win is an army of wimps and whiners. So stop.

4. Expecting life to be fair: Stop pretending like you're the only one who has bad, unexpected circumstances happen to them. Everyone lives in the same sometimes-erratic universe. You didn't get it any worse than anyone else. Enough already with the theatrics. Rich people don't get that way by sulking. A lot of things that we like to call "unfair" are really outcomes of the decisions that we have made in the past. We make risky decisions and then cry "unfair" when our gamble doesn't turn out with us hitting the jackpot. That's unfortunate because there is a valuable lesson that could be learned if we stopped pouting and started listening. 

5. Following the crowd: Idiots do stupid things. Sometimes a lot of idiots do the same thing together. And you can feel like there are so many people doing something that you are missing out if you are not doing it too. The only thing you are missing out on are the results of idiot behavior. But it's not always that extreme. Many times your industry is heading is a good direction and it feels safe to follow the leader. But instead of achieving greatness you get the "success left-overs" of everyone else in your industry who gets to the finish line first. Take the time to go your own way. Have an idea of your own. Dedicate yourself to pursuing your own brand of greatness. 

6. Burying your head in the sand: Success doesn't mean that you need to be perfect, or anything close. You just need to be honest about those mistakes and learn from the results that you achieve. It does you no good to pretend like you're more successful that you really are. It stops you from doing the things that would help you achieve your goals. Becoming a millionaire isn't about having one giant brilliant idea and executing it. It's about taking tiny steps forward continuously. When you're right, you keep moving. When you're wrong, you change course and keep moving. Mistakes lead you towards success.

7. Blaming others for your mistakes: This is likely the most important lesson that you need to learn. You are going to make many mistakes if you attempt anything remarkable. You are going to hurt people, create disappointment and cause confusion and chaos. The best way to make these right is to apologize. The best way to apologize is simply to say, "I'm sorry." No excuses. No drawn-out reasons. Just powerful words and an attitude of sincerity. And when you do, the results are mind-blowing. You solve problems faster, win the confidence of your clients better and make yourself more accessible to everyone around you. 

8. Immaturity: You need to be tough if you're going to win at life. That means you're going to get kicked in the teeth when you least expect it and need to get back up on your feet. That's why you need to grow up. Instead of getting offended, insulted, or misunderstood, you need to focus on the "real dramas." You'll know them when you see them. Whining and complaining aren't what big kids do. Part of growing up involves learning from your mistakes, being more mature and getting better at making decisions. If you can't say that you are making better decisions and learning better lessons, then you know that you need to grow up. And fast. Remember, being successful isn't always about advanced analysis. It is about the core values you let guide your day-to-day decisions.

 

Courtesy: Dan Waldschmidt.

You Are What You Eat.

What’s the Matter with the World?

What’s the matter with the world,

has the world gone mad?

(But) nothing’s wrong with the world.

It’s the people that are in it.

You can depend

on the sun (because) it rises every day.

But you can’t rely on the things people say.

Rain falls from the sky

to give water so life won’t die

except you and me.   

The Impact of Attitude on Life.

“The longer I love, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift or skill. It will make or break a company...a church....a home. The remarkable thing is, we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes.” ― Charles R. Swindoll.

Preparing kids for the Future.

“We may not be able to prepare the future for our children. But we can, at least, prepare our children for the future.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt.

A Gift of Trust and Negative Impressions.

How many times have some of us received a wrapped gift on which is boldly written, “Fragile—Handle with Care”? This is precisely the impression that comes with the issue of trust. Trust is like a fragile gift. When reposed in a person, it can either be nourished or destroyed by the type of impression generated by the beneficiary to the folks around them.

Once upon a time, people could trust certain individuals in positions of trusts. Now for example, the impression is that only foolish parents will entrust their kids with Catholic priests. With many “Pentecostal” pastors owning private jets and living extravagantly, only naive Christians make a big deal about paying tithes. And these days, teachers, counselors and sports coaches are viewed with suspicions lest they abuse kids in their care. These trust issues were preceded by negative impressions on the part of the perpetrators but the impressions were branded as mere rumors and ignored.

Professionally, some of us have fallen victims of colleagues who betrayed our trusts in the past. And it wasn’t as if we didn’t see the problems coming. At one time or the other, we were presented with certain negative impressions about them but we ignored the warnings. Sadly, there have been other forms of breached trusts in friendships, marriages, relationships and other human endeavors all because the warning signs were ignored.