Beware of the Fake Preachers.

“For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.” – 2 Timothy 4 (3-4).

Men Without Guts.

I detest liars. And worse, I'm easily irritated and disgusted by men who lack the guts to make simple, truthful expressions. The most fundamental emotional difference between the two genders is the ability of a man to demonstrate "courage in the face of fire". But when a man lacks such courage when needed, he loses the character that defines him as a man. 

In the aftermath of a terrorist attack in Paris, there were condemnations from all across the world. Several people, irrespective of race, religion and nationality were outraged. And this was made manifest on the social media. In my own little way, I did express a personal, angry opinion on the Facebook.

Shortly afterwards, I got an in-boxed message from a friend in which he agreed and thanked me for the opinion. The guy however went on, in the message, to state how he would have loved post similar opinion on Facebook and other social media. And when I asked "Why not?" the guy went on the defensive by stating that he could not afford to offend his Moslem friends on Facebook. I was aghast!  

And there was a day I wrote a short essay on my blog in regard to the religious posturing and the gross pretense that pervaded the Christendom. I had hardly shared it on Facebook when a friend sent me an in-boxed message to ask why I degraded Christianity so much. I asked if he would like to dispute the facts outlined in the essay. He said no…but while my essay contained the truth about the Christendom, it was also embarrassing to read such “hurtful truth” written by a Christian such as myself.  

To me, these were among the most cowardly, shameful manners any man could portray himself. And I said as much to those guys at each occasion. And, of course, they were upset! Incidentally, they were upset not because I was wrong. Rather, it was because I had the gut to express myself so blatantly and so confidently… a gut that each of them lacked. 

Sadly, there are too many individuals and, especially men, who parade themselves on various social media as agents of freedom even though they lack the same freedom they pretend to champion. In reality, such people are mere Internet Tigers. All words and no action!



The Price of Truth.

The only people who don't like you for telling the truth (because it's hurting their feelings) are those who are living a lie.

Chi-Raq, a Movie as a Social Commentary.

Just watched the movie, Chi-Raq. Almost every Spike Lee's movie is a social commentary on the Black American communities. Chi-Raq, his latest work for instance, deserves to be seen by every African American. But that obviously, will never be the case.
The problem is that Lee's movies tell "too much" truth in a society where the word "Truth" is a hated, bitter pill to swallow.

Even though Chi-Raq reveals everything that is wrong in our communities, it's too boring for a people that will rather see something else, possibly, a movie that turns a blind eye to the truth and simply entertain.

It's so sad to learn, through Chi-Raq that in Chicago city alone, the number of young Black folks that were murdered in cold blood by fellow Black people, is almost the same as the number of all Americans killed in the Iraqi war.

The same movie paints a vivid picture of how we, as Black people, enjoy using the "N", the "B" and the "H" words blatantly on each other in a daily orgy of profane, self-denigrations.
Yet, if a non-Black person should use an equal dose of those negative words on a Black person or, worse still, kill a Black guy, there would be riots and mayhem on the streets. What a society!

The Real Face of Jesus.

Wow! Too many people across the world (including Africa) will be grossly disappointed to learn that the real Jesus did NOT look like the usual image of a tall, White Hollywood lead actor (with long hair) that has been depicted for many years. This was the same way they were disappointed about a decade ago when the true image of Moses was researched and published by the Newsweek magazine.  

According to  the Esquire Magazine, forensic Science has revealed the true, most likely image of Jesus Christ (as shown above). This image "emerged from an exciting new field of science: forensic anthropology. Using methods similar to those police have developed to solve crimes, British scientists, assisted by Israeli archaeologists, have re-created what they believe is the most accurate image of the most famous face in human history."

In a published research, the Esquire Magazine stated further "While forensic anthropology is usually used to solve crimes, Richard Neave, a medical artist retired from The University of Manchester in England, realized it also could shed light on the appearance of Jesus. The co-author of Making Faces: Using Forensic And Archaeological Evidence, Neave had ventured in controversial areas before. Over the past two decades, he had reconstructed dozens of famous faces, including Philip II of Macedonia, the father of Alexander the Great, and King Midas of Phrygia. If anyone could create an accurate portrait of Jesus, it would be Neave."

What’s the Matter with the World?

What’s the matter with the world,

has the world gone mad?

(But) nothing’s wrong with the world.

It’s the people that are in it.

You can depend

on the sun (because) it rises every day.

But you can’t rely on the things people say.

Rain falls from the sky

to give water so life won’t die

except you and me.   

A Painful Truth.

"Better to be awakened 
by a painful truth 
than to be lulled to sleep 
by a seductive lie.” 
– Dr. Phil McGraw.

Yes, I Have Trust Issues.

Usually, I don’t bother my head about what other people think of me. And I'm realistic enough to always look beyond smiling faces. However, there are times when I imagine the kind of thoughts shrouded in the minds of certain individuals. I was in a meditative mood over this issue sometimes ago when a colleague came over. We had barely exchanged pleasantries and traded some banters when he threw a question at me.

Colleague: Hey no offense, but there's one thing I’ve been trying to figure out about you…
Me: What’s that?
Colleague: I have this feeling that you have trust issues…
Me: (Interrupting him mid-sentence) Yes, I do have trust issues.
Colleague: (Sighs) You’re not even denying it?
Me: (Very calmly) No.
Colleague: (Pauses briefly) Okay…So, how come you have trust issues?
Me: (Smiling) Listen…I've come a long way. In the banking/financial industry, I held very sensitive positions. If I didn’t have trust issues, I would have ended up in jail or dead.
Colleague: Wow! That's something...
Me: My folks have a saying about life; "People's wish for you is to be like a partridge with all its aura of poverty." If I didn't have trust issues, wouldn't I be like that hapless bird today?
Colleague: (Now laughing) That's right!
Me: In my current profession, with all the risks and hazards involved, if I didn’t have trust issues, I could have been fired or worse, dead by now.
Colleague: Oh, I know about that one…
Me: Great! And what about my days as a bachelor with different women in my life? If I didn’t have trust issues, I would not have been so painstakingly patient enough to meet and marry the most wonderful lady in the world.
Colleague: (Now laughing) That’s so true! Okay, I understand where you’re coming from…
Me: Good! Now, you know why I have trust issues.

The Truth Will Always be the Truth.

The Good, Old Truth.

The Inevitability of Disappointment.

“Disappointment is inevitable. But to become discouraged, there's a choice I make. God would never discourage me. He would always point me to himself to trust him. Therefore, my discouragement is from Satan. As you go through the emotions that we have, hostility is not from God, bitterness, unforgiveness, all of these are attacks from Satan.” - Charles Stanley.

 

 

Truth is like a pineapple.

"Truth is like a pineapple.

At first sight,

it’s rabidly ugly with a skin

filled with rough, sharp edges.

But for those who can 
accept it, the reward 
is a juicy sweetness

that enriches body and soul."

- Femi Olawole.

The Price of Truth.

A couple of years ago, I saw a female colleague step out of her car.

But I was not the only guy who did.

All of a sudden, almost everyone in the duty office started to chuckle mischievously.

“She looks like a scarecrow.” one female officer said, shaking her head in disgust.

“Whoever did her hair deserves to be shot!” another one added while the office erupted in laughter.

But as soon as the woman walked into the office, the same colleagues began to pay her all forms of compliments:

“Wow…your hair is cute!”

“Where did you get your hair done…it’s lovely.”

Seeing that I chose that moment to walk toward the kitchen, the woman followed.

“Hey, what is it?” she asked me. “You must be the only one who doesn’t like my hair?”

Smiling, I asked if she wanted to hear the truth and she answered in the affirmative.

“You’re my friend…” she stated coyly. “What’s your opinion.”

“Okay…” I began to say. “Your hairstyle is horrible…too bogus…”

The woman stopped in her tracks as she glared at me for a brief moment.

“You can be very mean!” she snapped, even in subdued anger.

“But I asked if you wanted to hear the truth…” I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

“Fuck the truth!” the woman insisted. “How could you be so mean? I spent a fortune on this hair…and why is it that everyone is impressed except you?”

She was about to walk away in anger when I called her back. I asked if she would be matured in her reaction to what I was about to tell her? After getting her assurance, I told her precisely what the other colleagues had said as she approached the duty office.

“Now tell me…” I continued to say. “Who is mean…me or those mischievous people?”

It took a few seconds for her to digest the information. Afterwards, she shook my hands, thanking me for being so forthright with her.

“Listen,” she began to say. “I saw the style on some women and loved it…that’s why I did it…”

“The problem is with the shape of your head.” I tried to explain. “There is too much space between the forehead and the hairline.”

“Wow!” she nodded with a wry smile. “What the hell are you doing in law enforcement? You should have been a stylist.”

Truth is like a pill that we all rely on to relieve us of both physical and emotional pains. Yet, many of us hate taking it because it’s too pricey and bitter to taste. Most times, people say “truth hurts” and this is why they believe it’s too dicey to tell the truth even when the other party demands for it. But in the long run, truth will always prevail because “no matter how long a lie travels, truth will sooner or later catch up with it.”

Relationships 101.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a discussion with a young man who was having problems in committing himself to a serious relationship due to a very cynical view of women. In conclusion, he asked me:

“In the meantime, what would you advise a young ‘player’ like me to do in order to have the most fun?”

My response: “Never tell a woman the truth until you know her true character!”  

Yesterday, the same young man sent an in-box message on Facebook to pay me compliments for having such lovely daughters. Then, in conclusion, he wondered:

“So...what advice would you give the young ladies about men?”

My response: “Never believe anything a man tells you until you know his real motives!” 

Travails of the Truth.

Truth is in serious trouble in the Western Hemisphere.

Where I came from originally (in Yorubaland, Nigeria)  there is an adage that "whenever a member of your household is seen eating junk, it's your responsibility to admonish him or her or else when, later in the night, the person starts to suffer the consequence of the wrongdoing, no one in that household will get a good night sleep". Over there, the refusal to tell the truth is considered wrong, nonchalant and grossly disrespectful. It is an obligation one person owes to another. 

This is not so in these parts of the world. And the issue is multidimensional with convenient justifications. At governmental level, the inability to tell the truth is called "political correctness".

In the corporate arena, lying is elevated to a sickening height where the truth is submerged in deceitful splendor called "bait and switch". In its adverts, a company gleefully promises to sell two items for one price by saying "buy one, get one free". This is intended to sway prospective customers to have the impression that they are buying two items for the price of one. The gullible customers however don't know that the price of every item being sold has been doubled. So, the company ends up selling two items to customers who will have preferred to buy one.

In show business, gospel singers are so desperate (for financial gains) to reach as many audiences as possible. Therefore, they try to "eat their cake and have it" by staying far away from the path of the truth. This they do, on the one hand, by placing their music under the genre of Gospel music to attract the interest of Christians. And, on the other hand, they ensure that "too much religion" is not attached to the produced music in a bid to sell their music to both the Christians and the "non-believers".

At individual, personal level, telling the truth is considered so irritating as to be placed on the same pedestal with mischief. To this end, telling the truth is considered as hurting other people's feelings. A good example of the personal side can be seen in Whitney Houston's death. In an interview after the singer's death, Dionne Warwick (her aunt and a great singer in her own right) was asked why she did not advise the younger woman to stop her drug addiction? The older singer said it would be improper for her to do so because she did not want to be "judgmental". But one was tempted to ask if it would not have been better to do some "judgmental counseling or criticism" help the troubled younger singer than to wait till she self-destruct and everyone began to cry?

To tell the truth in the Western world (even if that will result in saving some individuals from themselves) is considered "critical", "preachy", "insensitive" and, of course, "judgmental"! You are better off pretending to be an ostrich with head buried in the sand while waiting till the affected persons destroy themselves.

And there is the issue of too many people in the Western world who think they have too many skeletons in their own cupboards to counsel or advise others to stop or change from their negative ways. That, to them, is hypocritical. Worse, they fear that talking about the faults or weaknesses of someone else may attract attention to their own known weaknesses or faults. For instance, a weed smoker will find it difficult to advise another person to avoid smoking cigarettes. And a woman who was once involved in unwanted teenage pregnancy and motherhood will not readily feel comfortable to counsel her sister or daughter on the issues of birth control and life planning.

Truth

"Every truth passes through three stages
before it is recognized.
In the first, it is ridiculed.
In the second, it is opposed.
And in the third,
it is regarded as self evident."
 - Arthur Schopenhauer.

Truth as a Bitter Pill

We are in a very interesting society where everyone loves the truth but can't stand it. As much as we cherish and desire honesty in all its ramifications, the same honesty is also considered as something like a red, hot piece of iron, too hot to handle.

Desperate for the truth in our individual lives, many of us will usually demand that other people "look me in the face and tell me the truth!" Ironically though, we are often selective in our desire for the truth. If granted a permanent option, many of us will rather embrace only the truth that flatters or feeds our ego except that in reality, the most common form of honesty calls for self examination and this is something we despise. Whenever we are confronted by this latter form of the truth, we often not only reject it (the truth) but goes further to treat its bearer like a dog that is "given a bad name to hang it."

Sometimes ago during a period of "shift change" at my work, those of us who had come early saw a female colleague through the window as she stepped out of her car to approach the duty office. All of a sudden, almost everyone in the duty office started to chuckle mischievously in reaction to the woman's hairstyle.

"She looks like a scarecrow." one woman said, shaking her head in disgust.

"Whoever did her hair deserves to be shot!" another person added as the duty office erupted in laughter.

But as soon as the woman walked into the office, the same colleagues began to pay the woman all forms of compliments from "Wow...your hair is cute" to "Where did you get your hair done...it's lovely."

The woman was all smiles as the "compliments" poured in. Seeing that I chose that moment to walk out of the duty office toward the kitchen, the woman followed and soon asked why I was all silent.

"Hey, what is it?" she asked me. "You must be the only one who doesn't like my hair?"

Smiling, I asked if she wanted to hear the truth and she answered in the affirmative.

"You know, you're my friend..." she stated. "What's your opinion."

"Okay..." I began to say. "Your hairstyle is too bogus..."

The woman stopped in her tracks as she glared at me.

"You can be very mean!" she snapped even in subdued anger.

"But I asked if you wanted to hear the truth..." I answered with a shrug of my shoulders.

"Fuck the truth!" the woman insisted. "How could you be so mean? I spent a fortune on this hair...and why is it that everyone is impressed except you?"

She was about to walk away in anger when I called her back. I asked if she would be matured in her reaction to what I was about to tell her? After getting her assurance, I told her precisely what the other colleagues had said as she approached the duty office.

"Now tell me..." I continued to say. "Who is mean...me or those mischievous people?"

It took a few seconds for her to digest the information. Afterwards, she shook my hands, thanking me for being so forthright with her.

"Listen, I've seen the style on some women and loved it." she explained. "I never thought it would turn out to be like this..."

"The problem is with the shape of your head." I tried to explain. "There is too much space between the forehead and the hairline."

"Wow!" she finally smiled. "You should have picked the career of a celebrity stylist instead of law enforcement." 

Truth is like a pill that we all rely on to relieve us of both physical and emotional pains. Yet, many of us hate taking it because it's bitter to taste. Most times, people say "truth hurts" and this is why they believe it's too dicey to tell the truth even when the other party demands for it. But in the long run, truth will always prevail because "no matter how long a lie travels, truth will sooner or later catch up with it."

Don't you judge me!

"Don't you judge me!" How many times have we made or heard that statement?

According to a popular Yoruba adage, "A person always knows when he or she does something terrible but goes into denial while expecting someone else to tell them." Unfortunately, when such a terrible person does get to meet someone that reveals their character to them, the usual reaction from them is "Don't you judge me!"

Most people will cling on to denial whether they are addicted to drugs, alcohol or gambling. There are individuals who are into terribly bad habits that daily threaten to derail their careers, marriages or relationships. Yet, they hate to be told or reminded about these social maladies because of some pride or sheer stubborn attitudes...that is until something in their lives is destroyed.

This was the lesson a woman learned some years back in a very hard way. An American-based friend of mine was in Germany on vacation and one night, his host took him on a night's out. The guys were passing by a red-light district of Berlin when they saw a group of multiracial hookers advertising their bodies by the side of the street. As the two fed their eyes on the barely-clad flesh all around, my friend recognized one of the hookers and the shock made him yell at his host to stop the car. The woman and her husband were resident in Nigeria. So, my friend wondered why the woman was in Germany. When they pulled to a stop, two hookers took that as an invitation to jump into the darkness-filled car. Incidentally, one of the hookers was the identified woman. Irritated by this scenario, my friend's host announced to the women that they were not looking for hookers but that they pulled over for a different reason.

As the women hissed in frustration and tried to step out of the car, my friend suddenly turned on the car's inner light and called the name of the woman. Stunned to see the man, the woman initially started to plead that her secret be kept secret. She admitted that she lied to her husband about a business trip to Europe. But these pleas and explanations did not impress my friend as he confronted the woman for doing something that was not only shameful but also a danger to her husband. Finally, the woman could not take it anymore.

She was said to have flared up in anger, saying "Don't you dare judge me!"

"Judge you?" my friend stared at her in disbelief. "This is no judgement call. All I'm trying to do is tell you something you already know is bad..."

"And so...what's your business in this matter anyway...are you my husband?" the woman asked. "Listen, I dare you to tell my husband...then, we shall see who will come out of this scarred for trying to destroy my home."

With this declaration, the woman stomped off the car.

All through his return trip back to the United States, my friend was in dilemma. Should he inform his friend in Nigeria or keep the secret to himself? He decided to be a good friend by calling his friend in Nigeria.

"Hey buddy..." the other man said as he listened to my friend's story. "It was good you called to tell me...I just saw a picture in which you were talking with my wife in Germany."

"What!" my friend exclaimed in shock. "How did you get that?"

The other man chuckled, saying he had to put a "tail" on his wife as she departed for Europe. This action was the culmination of a negative report that he got the previous time the woman was in Dubai. It was a female relative of the man who saw his wife in a compromised situation in the middle-eastern country. The man's niece tried to call the woman to order about the disgraceful incident. But instead of taking the wise counsel, the woman told her husband's niece to mind her own business and stop judging her.

"As a business woman..." the other man went on to say. "Today, it's Germany, tomorrow, it's Dubai. She has been all over the place on so-called business trips and I never suspected she had been doing something else. So, this time around, I employed someone to follow her and keep a tab on her."

What if my friend had not called to disclose his discovery...how would he have subsequently explained his being "caught" on camera with his best friend's wife?

And as for the woman, if only she had listened the first time! Now, she did not know the horrible reception waiting for her back home in Nigeria where adultery is not only seriously frowned upon but also considered an abomination. 

Whenever we have the privilege to have a mirror thrust to our face to behold some flaws we have always seen but ignore, we should have the social grace to express gratitude to the person holding the mirror. It's a call for an urgent sober reflection instead of a denial or whining and crying about being judged.