A Gift of Trust and Negative Impressions.

How many times have some of us received a wrapped gift on which is boldly written, “Fragile—Handle with Care”? This is precisely the impression that comes with the issue of trust. Trust is like a fragile gift. When reposed in a person, it can either be nourished or destroyed by the type of impression generated by the beneficiary to the folks around them.

Once upon a time, people could trust certain individuals in positions of trusts. Now for example, the impression is that only foolish parents will entrust their kids with Catholic priests. With many “Pentecostal” pastors owning private jets and living extravagantly, only naive Christians make a big deal about paying tithes. And these days, teachers, counselors and sports coaches are viewed with suspicions lest they abuse kids in their care. These trust issues were preceded by negative impressions on the part of the perpetrators but the impressions were branded as mere rumors and ignored.

Professionally, some of us have fallen victims of colleagues who betrayed our trusts in the past. And it wasn’t as if we didn’t see the problems coming. At one time or the other, we were presented with certain negative impressions about them but we ignored the warnings. Sadly, there have been other forms of breached trusts in friendships, marriages, relationships and other human endeavors all because the warning signs were ignored.

Choose Your Friends Wisely.

"Be very careful about the type of people  
 with whom you socialize.
If you choose to roll with pigs,
you're going to get muddy.
And pigs will love it.                  
If you go about with dogs,
you'll eat faeces.
And dogs will adore you for it."
- An old adage.

The Next Judas.

Amazing Grace in a Hopeless Situation.

Last Wednesday, some convicted drug dealers were executed by the Indonesian government. As the guys were led to the stakes, they broke into a song:

“Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
was blind, but now I see…”

 

 

This is a highly spiritual song that gives comfort and solace to those in distress. Who would have expected the condemned men to rely on the same song for succor in such a most hopeless situation? And so, as the volley of hot bullets tore into their bodies, one could only wonder what was going on with their individual souls.

Now, if condemned men could deem it fit to express hope while in the process of a painful transition from the physical to the astral realm, how morally wretched can we claim to be (in the land of the living) to allow mere mundane issues to render us hopeless?

Pictured above are the men executed by the Indonesian government.

 

For Those Who Text & Drive.

Davion Only: At Last, A Good Samaritan Cometh!

“My name is Davion and I’ve been in foster care since I was born. I know God hasn’t given up on me, so I’m not giving up either.” - Davion Only.

This was the thought-provoking plea of a 16-year-old teenager whose plea for a family to adopt him went viral on the internet in 2013. The young Davion Only appeared before a Florida church congregation to make the plea after learning that his incarcerated biological mother had died. Prior to the church incident, he had been bouncing between foster homes.

Based on this clarion call, the young man’s foster agency got as many as 10,000 phone calls from people, some of  whom merely wanted to satisfy their curiosity. And when he eventually got accepted by an Ohio church minister’s family, he was soon sent packing after a minor incident. The church minister and his family threw the boy out of their home when he got into fights with one of their kids. I  guess the said minister and his family forgot to realize that this was an emotionally-traumatized young man that needed a lot of love and patience.

In the meantime, Davion had been pleading with his case worker for nearly ten years to adopt him. The woman, on the other hand, thought there could be a better family out there to bring the boy into their home. When none was forthcoming, she finally resolved to adopt him. What a “Good Samaritan” she is!

Connie Going, who will adopt Davion Only later this month, has known him since he was 7. (Photo: Melissa Lyttle/Tampa Bay Times/Zuma Press).

 

 

Annual Medical Exams: Prevention is Better Than Cure.

As I do every year, I have just undergone my annual medical exams for 2015. In the process, I went through a battery of tests for prostate, colon, liver and heart cancers. In addition, a sample of my blood was taken for various tests on my blood pressure, cholesterol level, diabetes, cancer and several other ailments.

The objectives of these tests are to prevent, detect and promptly treat possible discovery of a disease or ailment. Incidentally, there are some diseases that are best treated through an early detection and prevention. A lot of women have lost their lives to breast cancer, cervical cancer and related diseases. In the same vein, too many men have died unnecessarily from prostate cancer, colon cancer and some other diseases. All of these deaths could have been prevented through early detection of diseases. And this can only be done merely by undergoing annual or periodical medical examinations.

I am therefore appealing to men and women (especially those in their 40s and above) to act on this issue as a matter of urgency. "A stitch in time saves nine". Make an arrangement to see your doctor or health care professional as soon as possible.

Tasha Smith: When Life Imitates Arts.

When the movie, "Why Did I Get Married?" by Tyler Perry came out, I was of the opinion that a lot of single women should learn from the lessons that were abundantly exhibited in the movie in the area of marriage. This is because too many women appear to be interested only in mundane issues when considering future husbands. It’s always irritating to me when I hear women give reasons why they are in love or marrying a man. The stupid reasons usually range from “Oh, the guy is so cute!” to “He is great in bed”, “The man is rich” and “He has a nice car”. The most annoying part of it is that the affected women are the educated types that are not expected to be so dumb.

And, of course, the dumbest in this group of women are the celebrities. I often wonder whether it’s the fame or money that gets in the way of their common sense. An example of this stupidity is that of Tasha Smith, star of Tyler Perry’s "Why Did I Get Married?" It’s a classic case of life imitating arts. The woman obviously learned nothing from the movie’s many lessons.

According to TMZ, the actress “will think twice about getting hitched again -- the now ex-husband she calls a glorified assistant just scored a fat settlement in their divorce.” The woman has been ordered by a court to “hand over nearly $7k/month in spousal support to Keith Douglas. That's on top of the $50k she already shelled out to him in December.” The million Dollar question now is what was the woman thinking when she met, courted and getting married to a guy she now suddenly consider to be a “glorified assistant”? If the man actually fits that description then, she must be a glorified, damned fool!

Chances of Success.

The Gains of Meditation.

Yes, I Have Trust Issues.

Usually, I don’t bother my head about what other people think of me. And I'm realistic enough to always look beyond smiling faces. However, there are times when I imagine the kind of thoughts shrouded in the minds of certain individuals. I was in a meditative mood over this issue sometimes ago when a colleague came over. We had barely exchanged pleasantries and traded some banters when he threw a question at me.

Colleague: Hey no offense, but there's one thing I’ve been trying to figure out about you…
Me: What’s that?
Colleague: I have this feeling that you have trust issues…
Me: (Interrupting him mid-sentence) Yes, I do have trust issues.
Colleague: (Sighs) You’re not even denying it?
Me: (Very calmly) No.
Colleague: (Pauses briefly) Okay…So, how come you have trust issues?
Me: (Smiling) Listen…I've come a long way. In the banking/financial industry, I held very sensitive positions. If I didn’t have trust issues, I would have ended up in jail or dead.
Colleague: Wow! That's something...
Me: My folks have a saying about life; "People's wish for you is to be like a partridge with all its aura of poverty." If I didn't have trust issues, wouldn't I be like that hapless bird today?
Colleague: (Now laughing) That's right!
Me: In my current profession, with all the risks and hazards involved, if I didn’t have trust issues, I could have been fired or worse, dead by now.
Colleague: Oh, I know about that one…
Me: Great! And what about my days as a bachelor with different women in my life? If I didn’t have trust issues, I would not have been so painstakingly patient enough to meet and marry the most wonderful lady in the world.
Colleague: (Now laughing) That’s so true! Okay, I understand where you’re coming from…
Me: Good! Now, you know why I have trust issues.

The Issue of Forgiveness.

The True Power.

Between My Heart and Brain.

The American Sniper- An Irony.

The American Sniper, directed by Clint Eastwood, may be a box-office success but the big irony of it is the negative talks going on about it. The movie is about the life of a Navy SEAL, Chris Kyle. The same movie got Academy Award nominations for Best Picture, Best Actor and Best Adapted Screenplay.

However, there are some folks who are describing the movie as a celebration of cowards. To these people, Snipers (whether in military or civilian garbs) are known for hiding in safe places to shoot down unwary, armed or unarmed human targets. Notable among the critics of The American Sniper is Michael Moore who tweeted that his uncle was killed by a sniper in World War II. Hear him on Tweeter: “We were taught snipers were cowards. Will shoot u in the back. Snipers aren't heroes…”

He went further to tweet that “But if you're on the roof of your home defending it from invaders who've come 7K miles, you are not a sniper, u are brave, u are a neighbor.”

The liberal film maker concluded by reminding everyone that the movie opened on the Martin Luther King holiday, the day that marked the assassination of the civil rights activist by a sniper.

A Friendship Formed in Heaven.

This is amazing! Clarence E. Huntley Jr. and Joseph Shambrey (pictured below) died on January 5, 2015 in their respective Los Angeles homes. They were both 91. Huntley and Shambrey were among the famed Tuskegee Airmen, the all-black fighter squadron that flew in World War. As lifelong friends, Huntley and Shambrey enlisted together in 1942 and, in 1944, were also together in Italy with the 100th Fighter Squadron of the Army Air Force's 332nd Fighter Group. As mechanics, their main responsibility was to keep the combat planes flying.

Alas, their heroic war efforts did not spare them from the rabid racism of those ugly days in the American history. According to Shambrey's son, the war veteran recalled getting off a train in Alabama where a hospitality station was welcoming returning white troops with handshakes and free coffee. Not only were the men, still in uniforms, denied appreciative handshakes because of the color of their skin, but also were made to pay for their coffee.

Since the end of the World War Two though, the two men were said to have got closer as friends, except that they would not talk about the war. The friendship between these two gentlemen could only have been formed in heaven. In today’s world, “Best Friends Forever” (B.F.F.) is only a cliché. It’s no wonder that many will rather settle for mere acquaintances that can, once-in-awhile, be window-dressed as “close friends”.



Clarence E. Huntley Jr. (left) and Joseph Shambrey (right) COURTESY Los Angeles Chapter Tuskegee Airmen Inc president Ron Brewington.

 

 

Life is About Pain and Pleasure.

As individuals, our lives are like that of a magnet. A magnet is never complete without a combination of the negative and the positive polarities. So also can a human life never get fulfilled without an exposure to the reality of pain and pleasure. Pain is the harbinger of wisdom while pleasure serves as its reward. As the saying goes, "No pain, no gain". Some people go in the pursuit of a reward at the exclusion of an initial pain and they do this through superficial means. Sadly though, such "rewards" come with fatal consequences.

The Tribulation of Today is Tomorrow's Testimony.

There can never be a testimony without a prior test. The greater the test, the more gratifying the testimony.

Humanity Goes Beyond Skin Color.

There is a small shopping center in New Castle, Delaware which harbored only a pet clinic and an African Foods Supermarket.  Yesterday, I had just pulled into the parking lot when my car suddenly screeched to an abrupt halt. The front left tire had dislocated.

While waiting for my insurance company to send a tow truck, vehicles of clients (mostly Caucasians) of the pet clinic and customers (all Africans, especially Nigerians) of the African foods store were pulling into the parking lot. But while each of the white people stepped out of their vehicles to approach me to show compassion, my fellow Africans were frowning their faces at me. Before long, their ugly attitudes turned into rude verbal outbursts such as “Hey…this car is disturbing the free flow of traffic…” to loud orders such as “You’ve got to get this car out of here now…”

Some of these outbursts were even delivered in my Yoruba language while all my explanations fell on deaf ears. Incidentally, my car was only parked awkwardly but it was not blocking the road. The drama soon assumed a new dimension when some of the white people in the pet clinic stepped out to confront them.

“You guys are so rude!” one white man yelled. “Is it this guy’s fault that his car became disabled?”

“Disabled…disabled as how?” some Africans, most likely Nigerians asked in ignorance.

“Okay…” a white woman screamed at them. “Can’t you ‘frigging’ see the twisted tire of the car?’

Another white woman added. “Maybe they are all vision-impaired?”

I could only shake my head in embarrassment. Finally, and much to my relief, the tow truck arrived. And while my folks stared sheepishly, a couple of white people came around, offering to assist the tow truck driver in loading my car.

I have always refused to see humanity in colors but objectivity. Yesterday, I was greatly vindicated.

When Saying Sorry is Not Enough.