College Experience: Good, Bad or Ugly?

It's that time of the year again when "freshmen" are resuming at their various colleges/institutions of learning across the world. And, as a parent, I can only wish them success in all of their academic endeavors. I also wish to share with them the following admonitions: 

In my life so far, I have come across certain individuals, and especially young women who made some dumb choices while in college. And the consequences were as varied as they were many. Some of those women voluntarily though ignorantly allowed themselves to be used like some science laboratory specimens or “guinea pigs” by some young men in need of sexual experimentation. Sadly, the eventual experience gained by the men went on to benefit some other women to whom they eventually married. 

And there were women who graduated from college with more than diplomas or degrees. They also came out with very low self-esteem, sense of disillusionment, infertility, herpes, oral gonorrhea or (and) HIV. I have also seen some women who, at the verge of getting married, were suddenly ditched because their prospective grooms discovered that the future brides were once the “bed mates” of some guys who had since become the grooms’ buddies or colleagues (men do "kiss and tell"). The worst scenarios involved women who, while in college, used to be “call girls” that serviced some rich, old men for cash or adventures. 

In later years, many of these women usually wound up as “born-again” Christians. And this is quite noteworthy except that the new faith rarely erases the physical and emotional scars the affected women sustain from their self-inflicted injuries. It’s a very sad irony that a period meant for the acquisition of knowledge can sometimes be unwittingly turned into an era of imbibed stupidity.

Girl finds out she married her rich grandpa, stays with him anyway.

 

Newlyweds have vowed to stay together – despite the bride discovering her new husband is actually her grandfather. 

The couple made the shocking discovery three months after tying the knot while flicking through a photo album when they realized the man’s estranged son was also the bride’s father. 

But the 68-year-old millionaire has said he has no plans to divorce his 24-year-old wife because he already has two failed marriages behind him.

The man, who doesn’t want to be named, proposed his granddaughter on New Year’s Eve after they met through an online dating website.

He had apparently became estranged from the children in his first marriage and had moved away after his second marriage ended in divorce when he scooped “several million dollars” as a lottery prize.

The Miami-based pensioner had signed up to the site looking for companionship and struck up the relationship with the 24-year-old, from Jacksonville, who said she had been kicked out of her family home.

He told Florida Sun Post: “It was like a sense of deja vu, but at the time I couldn’t figure out why she seemed so familiar.”

Three months after they tied the knot, the couple reportedly discovered their family connection while looking through family pictures. 

The bride said: “When I saw my father in that photo album, I just felt an overwhelming sense of despair.” 

Shockingly, the pair have no plans to divorce and will instead try to make their marriage work. 

The man said: “I’ve already had two failed marriages, and I’m determined not to have a third.” 

His bride added: “Every couple is different and special in their own ways. I feel our bond is so strong that even something like this is not enough to make us give up.” 

Courtesy: The Sun.



Freedom Comes With Responsibilities.

A Set of Twins With Two Fathers.

The New Jersey Law Journal reported on Thursday that a New Jersey woman got the shock of her life when she discovered that her 2-year-old twins have two different fathers. The mother (identified as “T.M.” in court documents) got the news last winter when she received the results of a paternity test mandated by a family court as part of her application for public assistance.

The order was made so as to establish the paternity of the twins (in order to make the twins' "father" pay child support). DNA test results however revealed that the woman had two sexual partners who are now separately responsible for the kids' paternity.

This is grossly absurd. But then, what else really is new in America when it comes to sex? A couple of years back, a young woman appeared on “The Maury Show” to know the father of her new baby. The man she suspected was invited to the show for a DNA test which proved that he was not the father. Then, she brought another man who was found to be free from the paternity as well. After the eighth man was also cleared, the show host was livid with anger as he asked her “Just how many men did you sleep with within the same period of a menstrual cycle?” I lost interest in the case after the woman brought the 12th man from her neighborhood. Alas, even that one was cleared by DNA.

One thing I keep finding painful in stories such as these though is the unfairness of the women involved to the children born out of such sexual recklessness. The hapless kids could have been spared all the nonsense if only their mothers were not so dumb as to engage in unprotected sex. When a woman spreads her itchy legs wide open while shutting off her brain, this is what happens.

The Ugly Sides of Social Media.

Social media have contributed immensely to the improvement of communication and social relationships among people across the global community. However, there is a prevailing sad, ugly trend whereby a whole lot of people are surrendering their entire existence to the many social media in the cyberspace.



For such people therefore, the economic law of diminishing returns have set in. Worse, too many individuals have unwittingly become emotionally dependent on the people they meet on social media. And it's from such people they seek the validation and determination of their self-worth. The multiplying effects of this reckless and dangerous trend are especially manifesting in the lives of many teenagers and young adults who depend on total strangers for the maintenance of their self-esteems. Consequently, some of them have ended up becoming victims of scams, statutory rapes, cyber-bullying, manic depressions, suicides and murders.

SONY Pictures and its Peculiar Mess.

What a peculiar type of mess this is for SONY Pictures! In the aftermath of the leakage of her very crude and ignorant remarks about President Obama and some black movie stars, Sony Pictures co-chairman, Amy Pascal has begun a "healing process" by reaching out to some black leaders.

In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, the woman said she “want to accept responsibility for these stupid, callous remarks."

In the leaked email exchanges between her and a producer (Scott Rudin) the duo mocked movies that featured black actors and joked about the president's possible interest in them. Examples of such movies the two "messed up" in their e-mails were DJango and 12 Miles.

What a time for a scandal like this to come up! Hackers or no hackers, this woman did demonstrate a lack of character and discretion. Someone at her level of corporate ladder should have known better than to “run her mouth” so recklessly. Sometimes, I wonder how some of these so-called corporate top shots got to their leadership positions. And now Amy Pascal thinks all she needs to sweep the stinks under the carpet is merely by reaching out to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson?

A Forgettable Anniversary.

How Not to Get Your Ass Kicked by the Police.

[embed]http://youtu.be/QR465HoCWFQ[/embed]

The Richard Branson’s Space Tourism.

The Yoruba people in my ancestral homeland have a saying: “When some people are comfortably well-fed, they will start looking for a sharp instrument to pry open their stomachs.”

This is precisely what Richard Branson’s space tourism is doing by providing space trips to some stinking-rich, bored-stiff individuals. These guys are paying bundles of money to go on space trips. However, it’s not just the huge amount of money that is at stake on this silly, ego-boosting trips to space. Lives of the money-rich-road guys and those of their pilots are also on the line.

Last Friday morning, one of such space tourism rockets (a Virgin Galactic) exploded above the Mojave Desert during a test flight. The accident killed one pilot while seriously injuring the other even as he managed to parachute to the ground.

Hear Richard Branson on the ill-fated rocket that crashed last Friday: “We would love to finish what we started some years ago … I think millions of people would one day love the chance to go to space.”

Yeah right! But only those who are rich and dumb at the same time will contemplate a trip to "the space" in those funny-looking things called rockets. This is especially stupid when there are lots of very beautiful tourist attractions all over the world. Yes, there are risks even on regular human habitations across the world. But they are absolutely little when compared to the per-second risks of deaths in the large expanse of clouds in the outer space.



 

The Perils of the Internet.

“Generally, social networking sites

can be hugely promising and beneficial

in opening new friendships

and vistas

and knowledge of the world,

but they are also fraught with peril,

when young people are reckless

or headless.”

- Richard Blumenthal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

20 Kids Can Never Play Together for 20 Years.

There is a saying in my ancestral homeland (Nigeria); “Twenty children can never play together for twenty years.” This is a reality of life. But it does not enjoy recognition among many of my African American folks. They don’t know when to let go of the human, emotional and material baggage in their lives. For the youngsters though, the worst baggage is usually their old neighborhood “homies” or buddies.

Many of these young folks, especially the men, are often stuck in the past. It’s considered an attitude of “keeping it real” when a young, urban professional, sports personality or Hollywood actor gets stuck with buddies or “homies” in his past neighborhood. It does not matter that those buddies are not doing anything positive or productive with their lives. If they are not drop-outs, they are deliberately jobless or into some criminal enterprises.

Now into big-time career and famous, a typical African American young man will surround himself with these buddies from the past. It will have been a different thing worth commending if he reaches out to those buddies with the sole aim of uplifting them educationally or with some careers. No, he will only be interested in turning them into hangers-on, to boost his ego. Sadly though, the same buddies or hangers-on will, in most cases, turn out to be his nemesis. This reminds me of MC Hammer, Allen Iverson and many others. Where are their buddies who used to play the role of hangers-on?

There was also the sad story of a young African American rising basketball star who, at the beginning of his career visited his old, childhood neighborhood. There, he ran into some old buddies who invited him to take a ride in a car. The group soon drove to the entrance of a store. Leaving the basketball star in the car, the others walked briskly into the store, pulled out small hand guns and robbed the place. As they ran back into their waiting car, a witness secretly took photographs of the young men. That was all the police needed to round up the perpetrators of the crime. All the attempts of the basketball star to prove his innocence proved abortive.

Unfortunately, this is just one of the many ways that innocent young black folks railroad themselves into bankruptcy, jails and worse, untimely deaths.

African Weddings and the Ominous effects of Evil Principalities.

Among Nigerians, very much like other Africans, there is always a very strong belief in the ominous effects of juju, voodoo or evil powers. This belief is sustained by the constant occurrence of mysterious phenomena in the lives of the people. And the belief can not really be discounted as unfounded or rubbished as a mere superstition because even the Holy Scriptures acknowledged the existence of witches, familiar spirits and other evil principalities.

The problem with this belief however is the flawed tendency of our African folks to ascribe every incident, including the consequences of personal recklessness and negligence to the unseen spiritual forces.

In 1987, my wife and I had a huge society wedding. This occasion came on the heels of some scary, mysterious events that occurred a few months before the wedding. From a strange illness that almost claimed the life of my wife to the subtle threats of spiritual harms from certain quarters, a low-keyed wedding ceremony would have been the ideal thing to do under the circumstance. As a couple however, we chose to brave through the scare.

And we did have our fun-filled wedding while enjoying the momentary fame as the cynosure of all eyes. Finally, we thanked God that everything went well as planned.

A few months after the wedding, my wife and I invited Goddy (the best man at our wedding) and Bimbo (Best Lady), to the annual Christmas party hosted by my employers.

We all went to the party in my car.

The week preceding the party had been one of great accomplishments for me in terms of my professional life and private business. With this sheer sense of joy in mind, I proceeded on a drinking binge as soon as we arrived at Federal Palace Hotel, Victoria Island, the venue of the party. When the bar ran out of my choice of white wine, I simply switched to VSOP Brandy that was much stronger.

We called it a day at about one o’clock in the morning of the following day. I remembered vividly how I opened the front passenger's door for my wife and the rear doors for our guests.

But that was all I could remember.

About an hour later, I looked in the rear-view mirror and found the rear seats empty.

“Where is Goddy…and Bimbo?” I turned to ask my wife.

Thinking that I was about launching into one of my dry jokes, she stared at me without a response.

“Listen…” I continued to say. “I’m serious. And by the way, where are we now?”

This time, my wife stared at me with a controlled anger before responding to my question.

“What are you talking about?” she asked irritably. “Can’t you see that we are in Ikeja?”

“Ah!” I exclaimed in panic.

“What do you mean by ah?” my wife asked again. “Aren’t you the one driving the car?”

In place of a response however, I continued to drive toward home.

Finally, we both arrived at home.

That was when I called my wife aside to tell her that I could not remember how I drove the car from the parking lot of the Federal Palace Hotel in Victoria Island all the way to Ikeja, covering several miles of distance in the process.

For a few seconds, all she did was stare at me in shock.

“What really are you trying to say?” she finally asked in fright. “…that you passed out while driving?”

“I guess so…” I answered, nodding my head solemnly. “Because I can’t remember anything.”

“Oh my God.” she remarked. “No wonder you were so quiet all the time Goddy, Bimbo and I were chatting and laughing. You just kept staring at the road ahead….”

“No, my eyes were shut tight.” I stated. “I only opened them when we got to Ikeja.”

“Really?” she screamed while clasping her palms atop her head in shock. “But…but you pulled over for Goddy to step out of the car at Palm Grove bus stop.”

“I did?” I asked, staring at her in surprise. “I can’t remember doing anything of sort.”

“What?” my wife yelled in astonishment. “And what about the time you pulled over at Maryland for Bimbo to get off?”

“I can’t remember doing that either.” I shook my head.

“But how then did you drive so smoothly all the way to Ikeja?” she wailed in shock.

“I don’t know…” again, I stated, shaking my head.

“Ah!” she exclaimed for the umpteenth time. “For God’s sake, you drove all the way from Victoria Island, a journey of several miles with curves and turns…all through the long Third Mainland Bridge and you can’t remember anything?”

“No…I can’t.” I answered.

For the next few minutes, we both meditated quietly over the strange phenomenon.

We both wondered aloud about whatever strange force had taken control of the car all the time I was unconscious. Without the benefits of that strange force or providence, which we finally ascribed to another special grace of God in my life, the car could have plunged into the looming, dark Lagoon beneath the Third Mainland Bridge if I had lost control of the car. And this was more so, after such a very flashy, lavished wedding ceremony.

“Do you know what people would have said?” my wife asked in consternation. “Our families, relations and friends would have blamed it all on the wicked engine of witch-crafty, sorcery or some other evil principalities.”

“Of course, yes. “ I nodded solemnly. “Even though, it would all have been my fault.” 

I marveled at the phenomenal event of that fateful day and resolved never again to drink, eat or do anything whatsoever in excess.

It has been 25 years since the incident took place. Had the situation been the other way around, someone else would probably have written this story as an eulogy in a memorial to me, my wife and our guests. May God be praised, thanked and glorified at all times.