You're So Different: OK, But What Makes You Black?

“You’re so different. You’re so articulate. Why do you talk like a white girl? You’re the whitest black girl I know.”

Comments like these beg the question: What makes you black? Is it merely the color of one’s skin? Is it a state of mind? Knowing the lyrics to Cardi B’s songs?

It took me a while to embrace that my blackness was not the stereotype others believed.

In some ways, I am different. I was lucky to be raised in a household where I received all that I needed, with some of what I wanted. My parents encouraged me to spread my wings and move from my native New York to Miami for a job as a prosecutor. Being a black prosecutor was isolating but I found others like me midway through my career.

I lived in a weird juxtaposition—I was a black female attorney, holding down a teaching job on the side, which allowed me some luxuries in life like a nicer car and the ability to travel. I never took it for granted; but in certain circles, I got pushback.

The message? That I “don’t know the struggle.”

Every black person’s struggle takes a different path but has the same theme. In my legal career, the struggle is respect, being heard, and having the ability to make meaningful change to uplift communities of color. The bias looks the same—while some people of color may be hesitant to embrace you because you’re perceived as “bougie,” certain white folks marvel that you can afford a luxury purse or a high-end foreign car without being tied to illegal activity. I was once at an event when a judge joked to me whether or not my Michael Kors purse was a result of dropping cases as a prosecutor.

No lie.

In doing community work, I often had to work harder to gain the credibility of my fellow people of color because I just seemed “so different.” One day, I was picking up a friend who lived in a poorer area of the city. She sent a young niece to let me know she was running late. I told her no problem. The niece went back to my friend and said, “why does she talk like that?”

“Like what, Sweetie?”

“Like a white girl” 

 

I never was great at the code switch—I just was always me. Besides, I had no code to switch from. The result was working doubly hard in every environment.

Finally, I just stopped.

I always bristle when someone says “well s/he’s black, but you know, not really” or “s/he is the whitest black person I know.” Often this is said by a white person, possibly thinking it’s some sort of compliment, along the same lines of “You're just so articulate.”

 
Really? How is that? Because the person doesn’t fit some sort of stereotype? Speak in a certain way? Throw the black power fist in the air for your entertainment?

To me, it’s not just about knowing pop culture or the latest urban wear designer. It’s knowing your history and being authentic to your roots. I’m an African-American woman, born of two immigrant Caribbean parents. If you really want to get down to it—Afro-Caribbean-American. I wear my hair in dreadlocks as a nod to the natural beauty of my own hair texture, not what Hollywood or someone else says is beauty. I can recite every Public Enemy song, but not so much for hip-hop past the year 2000 (I feel the message has been lost—with a few exceptions). I serve my community and humanity at large to the best of my ability. I fight injustice where I can. I see my dark complexion in the mirror and feel proud, strong and beautiful. Being African American presents challenges because of the ignorance of some, but I was given the tools at birth to be a warrior for positive change.

I’m in a place where I believe that the work I do daily reflects my authenticity. The work of fighting for racial equality is too important to get caught up in how I look or sound to others.

This is me.

Courtesy: Melba V. Pearson-Mecham.

Chi-Raq, a Movie as a Social Commentary.

Just watched the movie, Chi-Raq. Almost every Spike Lee's movie is a social commentary on the Black American communities. Chi-Raq, his latest work for instance, deserves to be seen by every African American. But that obviously, will never be the case.
The problem is that Lee's movies tell "too much" truth in a society where the word "Truth" is a hated, bitter pill to swallow.

Even though Chi-Raq reveals everything that is wrong in our communities, it's too boring for a people that will rather see something else, possibly, a movie that turns a blind eye to the truth and simply entertain.

It's so sad to learn, through Chi-Raq that in Chicago city alone, the number of young Black folks that were murdered in cold blood by fellow Black people, is almost the same as the number of all Americans killed in the Iraqi war.

The same movie paints a vivid picture of how we, as Black people, enjoy using the "N", the "B" and the "H" words blatantly on each other in a daily orgy of profane, self-denigrations.
Yet, if a non-Black person should use an equal dose of those negative words on a Black person or, worse still, kill a Black guy, there would be riots and mayhem on the streets. What a society!

The Desperation and Hopelessness in the American Inner City.

“A young man had been shot at by another teen. He was willing to let it go. Only now he is hanging with buddies who tell him, ‘Man you’re a bitch. You let them pop your ass, and you ain’t did sh— about it.’ They’re harassing him every day, and it’s psychologically destroying him. Now, he’s got to show his friends he’s a man. So one day he gets in the car and goes looking for someone to aggress against so he can come back to his buddies with a story. He sees a group of kids, talking loud. The boy shoots at them, the kids scatter, and now he can go back to his friends and say, ‘We aired them ni--as out.’ But in the process, he accidentally kills an innocent child. That isn’t gang violence. It’s desperation, hopelessness, despair, cultural confusion.” – Essence magazine. July, 2013.

[embed]https://youtu.be/6am8V5KNJ4A[/embed]

Baltimore Riots: To Whose Benefits?

Each time my black folks express grievances over some injustice, their favorite choice of re-action is the tearing down of their cities of abode to shreds. In the wake of the massive destruction, looting and desecration that characterized the Baltimore riots, the consequences are beginning to manifest. The city will now end up diverting available resources from much-needed areas crying for attention to off-set the huge financial costs required to clean up and restore normalcy.

In the meantime, the whole world appears to have forgotten about the origin of the problem and its moral message. For the next couple of weeks, the only images in the consciousness of the global community will be those of a people engaged in an orgy of destructions and looting. In place of their initial empathy, the question on their minds now will be; “What’s wrong with those African Americans?”
And lest we forget. While the rampage lasts, schools are closed, academic year is messed up and kids’ minds are turned into a devil’s workshop due to idleness. On the other hand, many people will lose their jobs as a result of the looted and destroyed businesses. Therefore, to whose benefits are the riots?

 

A Message for Black Leaders.

“I now realize, that we who consider ourselves leaders in the black community can’t just be against racism. We have to also be against a portion of black culture that has become increasingly anti-authority and anti-social to a point of self-destruction. This is an enemy we’ve yet to engage in the black community. But it’s a conversation I think we’re forced to have now.” – As told The New York Times by Brian Willingham, a church pastor and black police officer from Flint, Michigan.

My response: The above message is for Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and the other black leaders. It’s high time they began to address some salient issues such as the sky-rocketing number of drop outs among black students, frequent black-on-black crimes, the social malady of “babies” having babies, women having five kids for five different men and the numerous men who are “missing-in-actions” in the lives of their kids.

From Homeless to Harvard: The Story of David Boone.

David Boone was only 14 years old when his family lost their home to gang violence in Cleveland, Ohio. The teenager’s problems arose when he refused to join a gang. In retaliation, their house was riddled with bullets. Consequently, the family split up, causing David to become homeless. Most of the time, he had to sleep in the park but only in the afternoon because it was not safe to do so in the night.

His high school principal, Jeff McClellan, was highly impressed with boy’s constant early arrival in school (he was getting up at 5 a.m.) not knowing that he was homeless. By the time the principal realized the situation, he and his wife resolved to take David in to live with them for over a year. The young man graduated from high school as the salutatorian and was accepted to Harvard, Princeton, Brown, Cornell, Yale, and University of Pennsylvania among others. He however chose Harvard University on a full scholarship from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

David Boone’s life is a classic example of an inspiring “grass to grace” story especially in the black community. In his community, too many young people are lurking in street corners to sell drugs, pimping women or wasting away in jails. Their usual excuses for taking the wrong paths can be as silly as lame and nonsensical. For instance, if the reason alluded to their negative situations in life is not due to the “lack of a father figure” in their lives, it will be because of their skin color or something else that can irritate a sane mind. Yet, in spite of the fact that David Boone could have easily hidden behind similar excuses if he wanted to drop out of school early on or to pursue a criminal enterprise, he worked hard to be where he is today.

Al Sharpton: The Gold Fish has no Hiding Place.

When the news broke the other day that one of the highly visible and vocal civil rights activists in the black community, Rev. Al Sharpton owed some money in unpaid taxes, I was not really surprised. Guys like that, in spite of the pious image they portray to the public, usually have some stinking skeletons in their cupboards.

I was however surprised to learn that the amount he owed was in the sum of $4.5 million! According to an investigation conducted by the New York Times, Sharpton “regularly sidestepped” taxes, rent and other bills. His non-profit organization National Action Network alone owes over $1 million in overdue payroll taxes. Now, how could taxes be deducted from the employees of his organization without the same taxes being remitted to the Internal Revenue Service?

For Al Sharpton, it is a double moral tragedy.

In his desire to fight for justice and the civil rights of other people, Al Sharpton does not necessarily have to be a holy angel or a saint. But he is not only a sundry civil rights activist but also someone who strongly lays a claim to religious leadership, a factor on which rests the bulk of his reputation. For this factor therefore, he definitely needs to be morally above board.

And in silly attempt at self-defense, Sharpton appeared on the CNN yesterday saying that the reported $4.5 million was the original figure he was ordered to pay back in 2008, but that he has been making regular payments since then and the amount is now less. Pleaseeeee! Can someone please tell this guy that whether 2008 or 2014, he has no moral right to owe taxes, period!

Sharpton cannot, on the one hand, strive to be seen as a respected “man of God” that is playing “savior” all over the place while, on the other hand, he is grossly shirking in his civic responsibility to pay taxes in his individual capacity and as a business man who owns some for-profit companies such as Raw Talent and Revals Communications.

If a famous, money-making public figure such as Al Sharpton refused to pay taxes why should poor, ordinary folks like me pay?

Some of us Will Never be Black Enough.

Russell Wilson, quarterback of Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks , is the latest African American to be accused of not being black enough. Some of his teammates have even called him an “Uncle Tom” in the locker room. Yet, here is the great-great grandson of a slave, a guy whose grandfather is a former president of Norfolk State University, a historically Black College and both of his parents are African-American. Now, how black can a guy like this be?

The question then is who really are black enough? Are they those who Bill Cosby describes as absent fathers, women having kids for six different men and “babies” having babies, the young thugs with pants sagging irresponsibly and the young women whose bodies are covered with tattoos and piercings?

Charles Barkley, once voted the NBA’s Most Valuable Player and named one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA History stated only recently that: “For some reason, we are brainwashed to think that if you're not a thug or an idiot, you're not black enough. If you go to school, make good grades, speak intelligently and don't break the law, you're not a good black person.”

I guess some of us will never be black enough!

Black Kids and Negative Influences.

Recently, some colleagues and I were discussing the dilemmas facing a lot of young black kids in this country of ours. One of us lamented that his son had become a victim of the nation's social ills. The kid could barely remember anything he was taught at school. This prompted his parents to assume that he had a poor memory. But that was until they discovered that their son could recite every rap song in an entire CD with absolute ease!



The problem with a lot of kids in Black communities across the United States is that their psyche and consciousness are constantly bombarded and “fed” with grossly negative ideas and images through music, movies, internet and other media. There is virtually no room for positive images to be celebrated. And when parents are not paying much attention or creating more time to fill-in the gaps, the kids will just have to make do  with whatever negativity is shoved down their mental throats.



This is why many Black kids know very little about Black people’s achievements in education, commerce or any enterprise of positive nature. The same kids will readily sneer when pointed in the directions of great professions such as medicine, law, engineering and teaching. And why not? All they see and hear on TV, newspapers, magazines and the internet are glamorous stories about rappers, hip-hop artists, actors, drug dealers, basketball players or football players.

 

 

Black America's Invisible Crisis by Lois Beckett.

In America, violent crime is down significantly since 1993, when the nation’s gun homicide rate hit its peak. But there are still neighborhoods in cities like Oakland, Detroit, New Orleans, and Newark, New Jersey, where shootings are a constant occurrence and where the per capita murder rates are drastically higher than the rest of the country. Some 3,500 American troops were killed during the eight-year war in Iraq. Within the same time period, 3,113 people were killed on the streets of Philadelphia. According to FBI data, between 2002 and 2012 Chicago lost more than 5,000 people to homicide—that’s nearly three times the number of Americans killed in action in Afghanistan…

Over the past 20 years, medical researchers have found new ways to quantify the effects of the relentless violence on America’s inner cities. They surveyed residents who had been exposed to violence in cities such as Detroit and Baltimore and noticed symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): nightmares, obsessive thoughts, a constant sense of danger. In a series of federally funded studies in Atlanta, researchers interviewed more than 8,000 inner-city residents, most of them African-American. Two thirds of respondents said they had been violently attacked at some point in their lives. Half knew someone who had been murdered. Of the women interviewed, a third had been sexually assaulted. Roughly 30 percent of respondents had had symptoms consistent with PTSD—a rate as high or higher than that of veterans of wars in Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan.



Experts are only now beginning to trace the effects of untreated PTSD on neighborhoods that are already struggling with unemployment, poverty and the devastating impact of the war on drugs. Women—who are twice as likely as men to develop PTSD, according to the National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder—are more likely to show signs of anxiety and depression and to avoid places that remind them of the trauma. In children, PTSD symptoms can sometimes be misdiagnosed as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Kids with PTSD may compulsively repeat some part of the trauma while playing games or drawing, have trouble in their relationships with family members, and struggle in school. “School districts are trying to educate kids whose brains are not working the way they should be working because of trauma,” says Marleen Wong, Ph.D., the former director of mental health services, crisis intervention, and suicide prevention for the Los Angeles Unified School District.

Men with PTSD are more likely to have trouble controlling their anger, and to try to repress their trauma symptoms with alcohol or drugs. Though most people with post-traumatic stress are not violent, PTSD is also associated with an increased risk of aggression and violent behavior, including domestic violence. The Atlanta researchers found that civilians they interviewed who had PTSD were more likely to have been charged with a violent crime and incarcerated than other people of similar backgrounds without PTSD—but the cause and effect behind this wasn’t clear. For some people, PTSD symptoms may have contributed to their involvement in the criminal justice system, while others may have developed PTSD later. “Neglect of civilian PTSD as a public health concern may be compromising public safety,” the researchers wrote.

Culled from Essence, October, 2014.

 

Poor Jill Scott and her Hacked Nude "Selfies".

I am still wondering about the hues and cries attracted by the hacked nude “selfies” of Jennifer Lawrence, Jill Scott and other female celebrities who are obviously “suffering” from overt narcissism. Worse than vanity, narcissism occurs when a person (usually a woman) places too much attention or admiration on their sense of beauty and general appearance.

Why, in the world, would those women (the so-called victims of hackers) go to the vain extent of taking nude “selfies”? Other than some silly hackers, anyone else could have stolen their phones and made a worse mess of those women than the hackers have done.



And now, there were those in the black community who felt Jill Scott did not get much “help” from the feminists fighting the hackers’ “injustice” against Jennifer Lawrence and some other white celebrities. These defenders of Jill Scott’s “moral virtues” were of the opinion that the “white feminists” were racists by not extending their “assistance” to Jill Scott because of her skin color. What arrant nonsense!

In the first place, what were Jill Scott’s objectives for taking nude "selfies"? Was mere looking in the mirror not enough for her? As for those blaming the so-called "white feminists", I guess they need to see the reactions on the internet. Most of the negative reactions to Jill Scot's nude "selfies" came from blacks (men and women).

Some black women actually wondered what Jill Scott thought she was doing by "flaunting" a shapeless body. And some black men "advised" her to go participate in the reality TV show called "The losers". Whether it was Jennifer Lawrence, Jill Scott or some egoistical female celebrity taking some childish nude "selfies", the act is nothing but the worst, gross level of vanity. It’s called narcissism!

 

When “Keeping it Real” is Dumb.

Have you heard these words “keeping it real” lately? These words, as simple as they look and sound, have created a lot of issues and problems for a lot of young Americans. So many of them are indeed in jails across the nation because they have no clue as to what “keeping it real” is really all about!

In many black communities, for instance, “keeping it real” among the young people is the same thing as being disrespectful, doing badly in school, dropping out of schools, speaking poor English grammar and having pride in being an ex-convict. Another form of “keeping it real” is for a guy to dress like a thug, speak like a thug and act like a thug. The irony of this stupid attitude is that when real thugs get into trouble and appear in courts, they know better than to act like thugs. In fact, they suddenly speak and dress properly. So, this means they know the right thing to do in order to be taken seriously.

It’s terribly shameful that when some other young black folks do the right things such as staying in schools, studying to acquire good education, speaking proper English, dressing decently and being respectful, they are called names. The worst is that such nice young black folks are branded as “acting white”.

But when did the resolve to do the right thing become a monopoly of the white people? As a thoroughbred African, I take a very strong exception to the idea that black people are the custodians of negative stuff while white people are solely created to do the right things. But this is the crazy message some young black folks are unwittingly sending out to the world.

 

 

 

 

 

will.i.am (of the Black Eyed Peas) & "The Four Amigos."

Most times, celebrities get on my nerves. Why so? They are vain, self-loving, self-admiring, self-absorbed, self-obsessed, conceited, self-centered, self-regarding and grossly egotistic. Many of them (especially the blacks) don’t even care a hoot about giving back to their communities.

It was therefore with an impressive and appreciative heart that I read about the great, heroic feat performed by will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas.

In 2009, four high school students from Delaware (my awesome state), Elijah, Darien, Jaiquann and Barien were accepted into their dream universities. But there was a mutual problem. They could not afford the costs. This was in spite of the fact that these young men were Field & Track stars and top academic students. In fact, they were said to have worked assiduously in a bid to help their respective single mothers.

Two of the boys, twins Darien and Barien (their father was in jail) went further to continually motivate the others to keep their grades up.

"Well, I've tried to learn from my dad's negative decisions,” Barren said. “…and it has influenced me to strive in school, and to get good grades…"

Then fate intervened one day. The young men were invited to share their story with Oprah. That was where they got the biggest “pleasant shocks” of their lives. Black Eyed Peas star (will.i.am) stepped in and gave all four boys the first-ever “i.am scholarships” that covered their tuition, books and fees for four years.



 

Trust Oprah. She did a follow-up with the young men. This was to find out how the boys were doing today. They filmed a video update, calling themselves "the four amigos."

Barien is now in his second year of pharmacy school. He will be graduating in 2016.

Elijah graduated from Indiana University of Pennsylvania in May. "I want to get into the architectural field, so it's just been a lot of years of hard work," he declared joyfully.

Jaiquann earned his degree in education from Cabrini College and is now a teacher. He admits that he was holding back tears when he found about the scholarship.

Darien is currently attending Morgan State University in Baltimore with plans to graduate with an industrial engineering degree next year fortune enough to have a full-time position lined up for once I graduate."

Although will.i.am is the greatest hero here, the young men also deserve some commendations. They did not just cry for help. When the help finally came, the young men did not disappoint their benefactor. These great acts are worthy of emulation by the many other celebrities out there and the numerous young black folks who are desirous of a better life.

 

 

 

Emancipation From Mental Slavery.

That was several hundred years ago!

But this is the 21st Century.

And there are still too many people out there in the black community who have chained themselves down in mental slavery. Since this problem is self-inflicted, not even a thousand Harriet Tubmans can help set them free. And sadly, a considerable number of them is young. Under the shameful circumstance therefore, the future of the black community is terribly bleak!

The situation is so critical now that these young people keep taking one step forward while, unwittingly, they take many steps backward.

• To them, education stinks.
• A college education, on the other hand, is an abomination in their sight.
• Anyone that speaks good English around them is acting "white".
• Whoever dresses and looks proper is not real.
• Those who embrace hard work as a virtue are considered dumb.
• To a 4th grade drop-out, having a decent $10 job is too cheap and not worth keeping.
• The only ambition of these young people is---either get rich quick or die trying.