College Experience: Good, Bad or Ugly?

It's that time of the year again when "freshmen" are resuming at their various colleges/institutions of learning across the world. And, as a parent, I can only wish them success in all of their academic endeavors. I also wish to share with them the following admonitions: 

In my life so far, I have come across certain individuals, and especially young women who made some dumb choices while in college. And the consequences were as varied as they were many. Some of those women voluntarily though ignorantly allowed themselves to be used like some science laboratory specimens or “guinea pigs” by some young men in need of sexual experimentation. Sadly, the eventual experience gained by the men went on to benefit some other women to whom they eventually married. 

And there were women who graduated from college with more than diplomas or degrees. They also came out with very low self-esteem, sense of disillusionment, infertility, herpes, oral gonorrhea or (and) HIV. I have also seen some women who, at the verge of getting married, were suddenly ditched because their prospective grooms discovered that the future brides were once the “bed mates” of some guys who had since become the grooms’ buddies or colleagues (men do "kiss and tell"). The worst scenarios involved women who, while in college, used to be “call girls” that serviced some rich, old men for cash or adventures. 

In later years, many of these women usually wound up as “born-again” Christians. And this is quite noteworthy except that the new faith rarely erases the physical and emotional scars the affected women sustain from their self-inflicted injuries. It’s a very sad irony that a period meant for the acquisition of knowledge can sometimes be unwittingly turned into an era of imbibed stupidity.

Women Absorb and Retain DNA From Every Man They Have Sex With.

Women retain and carry living DNA from every man with whom they have sexual intercourse, according to a new study by the University of Seattle and the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center. 

The study, which discovered the startling information by accident, was originally trying to determine if women who have been pregnant with a son might be more predisposed to certain neurological diseases that occur more frequently in males. But as the scientists picked apart the female brain, the study began to veer wildly off course. As it turns out, the female brain is even more mysterious than we previously thought. The study found that female brains often harbor “male microchimerism“, or in other words, the presence of male DNA that originated from another individual, and are genetically distinct from the cells that make up the rest of the woman. According to the study: “63% of the females (37 of 59) tested harbored male microchimerism in the brain. Male microchimerism was present in multiple brain regions.” 

So 63% of women carry male DNA cells that live in their brains. Obviously the researchers wanted to know where the male DNA came from. Anyone care to guess? From the women’s fathers? No. Your father’s DNA combines with your mother’s to create your unique DNA. So where else could it come from? Through the study the researchers assumed that the most likely answer was that all male DNA found living in the female brain came from a male pregnancy. That was the safe, politically correct assumption.

But these researchers were living in denial. Because when they autopsied the brains of women who had never even been pregnant, let alone with a male child, they STILL found male DNA cells prevalent in the female brain. At this point the scientists didn’t know what the hell was going on. Confused, they did their best to hide the evidence until they could understand and explain it. They buried it in numerous sub studies and articles, but if you sift through them all you will find the damning statement, the one line that gives the game away and explains exactly where these male DNA cells come from.  

So according to the scientists, the possible sources of the male DNA cells living in the women’s brains are:

1. An abortion the woman didn’t know about.

2. A male twin that vanished.

3. An older brother transferred by the maternal circulation.

4. Sexual intercourse. 

Considering the fact that 63% of women have male DNA cells residing in the recesses of their brain, which of the above possibilities do you think is the most likely origin of the male DNA? The first three options apply to a very small percentage of women. They couldn’t possibly account for the 63% figure. The fourth option? It’s rather more common. The answer is 4: Sex. 

This has very important ramifications for women. Every male you absorb spermatazoa from becomes a living part of you for life. The women autopsied in this study were elderly. Some had been carrying the living male DNA inside them for well over 50 years. Sperm is alive. It is living cells. When it is injected into you it swims and swims until it crashes headlong into a wall, and then it attaches and burrows into your flesh. If it’s in your mouth it swims and climbs into your nasal passages, inner ear, and behind your eyes. Then it digs in. It enters your blood stream and collects in your brain and spine. Like something out of a scifi movie, it becomes a part of you and you can’t get rid of it. We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse.

The Worst Case of Child Abuse.

I still don’t understand why it’s so difficult for some women to take just a few seconds to think about the consequences of unprotected sex. It’s not just about them. In fact, it’s more about the child that may be unfortunate to be a victim of their sexual recklessness which sometimes takes only a few seconds. Why risk bringing an unwanted child to this world when all it takes to prevent the “mishap” is a condom?

This brings one to a 1989 story when a Santa Ana police officer Michael Buelna (right) found an abandoned newly-born baby in a garbage dumpster. But for the officer’s kindness, the baby could have died from exposures to the elements, dehydration or starvation. And now a 25-year-old man, Robin Barton (left) met recently with the police officer in an emotional reunion.

According to the AP, Buelna was on duty in November 1989 when he heard a faint sound coming from a trash bin. Buelna started shifting through the trash and discovered a baby, his umbilical cord still attached. The child was just four hours old and weighed 4 pounds, 2 ounces.

"He still had all the mucus and stuff, and all the trash and gravel was sticking to him," Buelna said. "I tried to give him a tiny little bit of breath, and he reacted a little bit."

Buelna wanted to adopt the boy, but another Orange County family stepped in first. They named him Robin Barton. Officers released a sketch of Barton's 19-year-old biological mother, later identified as Sarina Diaz, to the public. She was arrested and later sentenced to three years in prison for child endangerment and attempted murder.

KCBS-TV reports that news of the reunion led Barton's biological father to come forward. The two met Sunday, and Barton learned from Marcos Meza that his biological mother moved to Mexico after serving her sentence and wants to see him.

Meza said he had an affair with Barton's 19-year-old biological mother and only found out Barton had been abandoned in a dumpster when police questioned him. Meza said he has been searching for his son for years.

"It's a dream" to meet his son, he said.

Barton said he hopes that meeting his biological mother will also provide closure. "I'm not angry or upset with her, and I forgive her because she was a young woman in a very compromising position," he said.

The Life of a Spoiled Brat.

At this moment, the principal hung up the phone and turned toward the student.
“Yes, Ms. Weathers…what’s all the altercation between you and Ms. Sanders?”
There was no response.
“Hello…I’m waiting…”
“I…I didn’t like the way she humiliated me in the class.”
“How do you mean…can you be more explicit?”
All of a sudden, Weathers screwed up her face and made some wild gestures with her right hand, prompting the principal to think she was being rude to him.
“What…don’t you dare…” he threatened the student.
The man however stopped in his verbal tracks when, to his dismay, the girl clutched her stomach in obvious pain.
“What…in the world…is wrong with you?”
He rushed to her side as she bolted over, screaming in pain. It was at this stage the principal saw the thick, parallel lines of blood as they snaked down the girl’s pretty, long legs.
Now confused beyond comprehension, the principal called out to his administrative assistant.
“Mary…please call 9-1-1.”
He heard the woman acknowledge his order with the tapping of some numbers on the phone as she placed a call to the emergency dispatcher. He also listened to her subsequent conversation on the phone. Afterwards, the woman rushed to join the duo of the principal and the girl in the office.
“Jessica Weathers…” the principal was calling the girl as she lay crumpled on the floor. “Are you okay?”
“No.” the girl whimpered amidst sobs. “My tummy hurts like shit.”
“Can I call the school nurse?” the Administrative Assistant asked in panic.
“Yes, please…” the principal said but soon turned around to halt the woman’s movement. “But we can’t leave her on the floor. Can you assist me in placing her on a couch?”
With the aid of his administrative assistant, the principal lifted the sobbing girl onto the nearest couch.
Shortly afterwards, they heard the wailing sound of a siren as an ambulance raced furiously in the direction of the administrative block.- Being excerpts from The Temptation of Fate: http://www.amazon.com/Temptation-Fate-Femi-Olawole/dp/1456522167/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1426784562&sr=1-1&keywords=the+temptation+of+fate+by+femi+olawole

A Forgettable Anniversary.

The Height of Moral Degradation in Gods’ Own Country.

“The Strawberry letter” segment on the Steve Harvey Morning Show is one of my favorites. Every morning, people write letters to the show, baring their souls on some very personal issues. Some listeners are of the view that the letters are fictitious. But the presenters and, especially Shirley Strawberry, have often stated that the letters are real. And I believe them.

Today’s strawberry letter was a two-handed, heart-wrenching type. A man ( the letter-writer) wrote to say that he loved his wife (to whom he has been married since ten years ago) but that at the moment, he was at what I would describe as an emotional cross-road.

On the one hand, he started an affair with a sibling of his wife about three years ago. The sibling in question however was the twin brother of his wife. Now, the lover is threatening to inform his sister about the affair unless the letter-writer divorced her. Here was a guy desperate enough to break his sister’s marriage just so that he and the letter-writer could continue their gay relationship without hindrance.

On the other hand, the letter-writer wanted to justify the affair with his brother in-law by disclosing that his wife had cheated on him shortly after they got married. And guess who she cheated with? It was the letter-writer’s father. In fact, the woman got pregnant and had a baby boy for the older guy. The little boy is now being raised by the letter-writer. In view of this cheating issue therefore, the letter-writer believed that he had the moral right to comply with his gay lover’s demand.

Tommy Nephew’s response to the bundle of absurdities was the best in my view. At a future family re-union, Tommy gave hints about the way principal characters in that letter would be introduced?  To start with, the man’s wife would simultaneously be seen as his wife and as a step mother. The man’s gay lover would be introduced as his brother in-law and as his “significant other”. And the letter-writer’s hapless son could also double up as his brother. What a spectacle that family re-union would exhibit?

And I thought I had seen and heard everything about moral degradation in God’s own country. But that strawberry letter on the Steve Harvey Morning Show has since convinced me that I “ain't seen nothing yet"

Don't you judge me!

"Don't you judge me!" How many times have we made or heard that statement?

According to a popular Yoruba adage, "A person always knows when he or she does something terrible but goes into denial while expecting someone else to tell them." Unfortunately, when such a terrible person does get to meet someone that reveals their character to them, the usual reaction from them is "Don't you judge me!"

Most people will cling on to denial whether they are addicted to drugs, alcohol or gambling. There are individuals who are into terribly bad habits that daily threaten to derail their careers, marriages or relationships. Yet, they hate to be told or reminded about these social maladies because of some pride or sheer stubborn attitudes...that is until something in their lives is destroyed.

This was the lesson a woman learned some years back in a very hard way. An American-based friend of mine was in Germany on vacation and one night, his host took him on a night's out. The guys were passing by a red-light district of Berlin when they saw a group of multiracial hookers advertising their bodies by the side of the street. As the two fed their eyes on the barely-clad flesh all around, my friend recognized one of the hookers and the shock made him yell at his host to stop the car. The woman and her husband were resident in Nigeria. So, my friend wondered why the woman was in Germany. When they pulled to a stop, two hookers took that as an invitation to jump into the darkness-filled car. Incidentally, one of the hookers was the identified woman. Irritated by this scenario, my friend's host announced to the women that they were not looking for hookers but that they pulled over for a different reason.

As the women hissed in frustration and tried to step out of the car, my friend suddenly turned on the car's inner light and called the name of the woman. Stunned to see the man, the woman initially started to plead that her secret be kept secret. She admitted that she lied to her husband about a business trip to Europe. But these pleas and explanations did not impress my friend as he confronted the woman for doing something that was not only shameful but also a danger to her husband. Finally, the woman could not take it anymore.

She was said to have flared up in anger, saying "Don't you dare judge me!"

"Judge you?" my friend stared at her in disbelief. "This is no judgement call. All I'm trying to do is tell you something you already know is bad..."

"And so...what's your business in this matter anyway...are you my husband?" the woman asked. "Listen, I dare you to tell my husband...then, we shall see who will come out of this scarred for trying to destroy my home."

With this declaration, the woman stomped off the car.

All through his return trip back to the United States, my friend was in dilemma. Should he inform his friend in Nigeria or keep the secret to himself? He decided to be a good friend by calling his friend in Nigeria.

"Hey buddy..." the other man said as he listened to my friend's story. "It was good you called to tell me...I just saw a picture in which you were talking with my wife in Germany."

"What!" my friend exclaimed in shock. "How did you get that?"

The other man chuckled, saying he had to put a "tail" on his wife as she departed for Europe. This action was the culmination of a negative report that he got the previous time the woman was in Dubai. It was a female relative of the man who saw his wife in a compromised situation in the middle-eastern country. The man's niece tried to call the woman to order about the disgraceful incident. But instead of taking the wise counsel, the woman told her husband's niece to mind her own business and stop judging her.

"As a business woman..." the other man went on to say. "Today, it's Germany, tomorrow, it's Dubai. She has been all over the place on so-called business trips and I never suspected she had been doing something else. So, this time around, I employed someone to follow her and keep a tab on her."

What if my friend had not called to disclose his discovery...how would he have subsequently explained his being "caught" on camera with his best friend's wife?

And as for the woman, if only she had listened the first time! Now, she did not know the horrible reception waiting for her back home in Nigeria where adultery is not only seriously frowned upon but also considered an abomination. 

Whenever we have the privilege to have a mirror thrust to our face to behold some flaws we have always seen but ignore, we should have the social grace to express gratitude to the person holding the mirror. It's a call for an urgent sober reflection instead of a denial or whining and crying about being judged.

The Randy Man of Tennessee

According to news reports just coming in, there is a man in Tennessee, United States who has fathered 30 children. He is just 33 years old!

Desmond Hatchett of Knoxville has children with 11 different women. Already, the state has been dividing his paycheck into two portions, one portion for onward distribution among the kids. Unfortunately, payments made to individual kids don't amount to much because the randy, baby-producer is making only minimum wage. In fact, some of the "baby mamas" receive as little as $1:49 per month for each kid and the oldest child is 14 years old.

How did this young man get to this critically embarrassing stage in his life? In one particular year, he had 4 kids twice!

It was further revealed in news reports that as at 2009 when Hatchett was dragged to court to answer charges that many of the mothers were not receiving child supports, he had "only" 21 children. As though in a comedy movie, the young man even made a "promise" then that he was not going to father any more kids. Yeah right! In the past 3 years, he ended up having 9 more kids.

Incidentally, the state cannot make Hatchett to stop making babies because it's not against the law to make babies.

George Bernard Shaw once lamented that "Parentage is a very important profession but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children." When therefore is the society at large going to establish some rules in the protection of kids who are being brought into this world in hapless situations such as those "mass-produced" by and for Desmond Hatchett? Here is a country where one is compelled to get a license to be able to perform the simplest of task. Some licenses are indeed filled with ironies. For instance, a middle-aged woman who has successfully raised her own kids to adulthood will need a license to baby-sit the kids of a couple of teenagers who became parents without any license but only some casual, unprotected sex.

On the other hand, instead of "harassing" or stressing out Desmond Hatchett, the state of Tennessee should have simply compelled all the "baby mamas" of the man to attend some counseling sessions on how not to spread their legs wide out for just any man that catches their fancy. And if they must do so next time, the women should be admonished to, at least, be smart enough to use some birth controls to avoid the debasement of motherhood. I have always been of the strong opinion that a woman has the primary responsibility to prevent unwanted pregnancies, at least, for her own sake. This is in spite of those who argue otherwise. But tell me; when a man and a woman engage in casual sex, who gets pregnant? Who carried the pregnancy for about nine months? Who goes through a painful process of child birth?And who is saddled with the stress of nursing the baby over several sleepless nights?

While each of Hatchett's "baby mamas" might not readily know about the young man's role as a serial father, common sense should have dictated the use of contraceptives. There is the Pill, diaphragm, coil, sponge, plan B and several others all over the counters of retail pharmacy stores. If they had used any of these preventive devices, neither the women nor the affected kids would have fallen victims of this type of social illness. As it is, the situation is worse for the poor kids because the reality here is that many of them may end up as potential "raw materials" for the American prison industry. What a randy man of Tennessee! 

Lauryn Hill---What an Irony!

It's now official! Rohan Marley, son of the late Reggae star, Bob Marley, has proposed marriage to his Brazillian lover.

The 39-year-old Rohan was previously in a relationship with popular singer, Lauryn Hill for 15 years. Take note, 15 years! And in the course of those years, Lauryn and Rohan produced 5 children, Zion, 14, Selah, 13, Joshua, 9, John, 8 and 3-year-old Sarah.

Initially, when rumours began to circulate that he was dating 28-year-old Brazilian model Isabeli Fontana, Rohan vehemently denied the rumour. He tweeted saying: "Ms. Hill is the mother of my children, whom I have a tremendous amount of love and respect for. I would never do that." And this was in spite of Fontana's posted photo of herself and Rohan Marley on Twitter with the caption, "I'm in love with @Romarley 's heart."

In the height of her singing career (1998) Lauryn Hill released an album aptly titled "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill". That album sold 18 million copies over the next decade. One major track in the album was "Doo Wop (That Thing)" which was not only entertaining but also very educational. A young woman only has to listen to the track and be inspired to think deeply before opening her legs to any man. It was a grand lesson in sexuality education and especially, on the issue of indiscriminate sex.

Now that she has been dumped by her "baby daddy" and saddled with 5 kids, what will be going through the mind of Lauryn Hill? Over the course of 15 years, Rohan never considered Lauryn good enough for marriage except as a baby factory. Obviously, he must have felt that the baby-producing mama would not fit into his future scheme of things when a much younger ravishing beauty was available. Men! But whose fault?

Going through, once again, the lyrics of "Doo wop (That thing)" by Lauryn Hill, all I can think of is that some people's charities just don't begin at home. There is no doubt that a lot of teenagers and young adults must have learned one lesson or two from the inspirational song. Yet, Lauryn Hill who provided the motivation did not deem it fit to learn anything from her own counsel. What an Irony!